WhackHead's Heathrow announcement

I found this over at Mark's Digital Farm.

WhackHead from 94.7 (a South African radio station) calls Heathrow and asks them to make an announcement for 2 very important passengers.

Click here to listen

Threshers do it again.

Last year (or was it this year? It's all a blurr) Threshers, a UK liquor retailer ran a voucher promotion which ran amock on the internet and forced Threshers to pull the campaign. I don't have the time or inclination to put my own spin on that story but I'd like to contribute to their latest endevour. Go mad people, download the voucher, get pissed. BOKKE!

Give the ball to Brian

A crazy long weekend!
Started off on Friday feeling rather poorly, but that what soon not an issue after watching SA crush England on Saturday. Being the great sports better that I am, I put cash on SA to win between 46-50 points @ 22/1...yeah boy. Pity I only £1 on, but it still paid for a couple drinks on Saturday which turned out to be a crazy day of partying, ending off with a night of 'best dancer ever' syndrome.
Sunday was just as crazy, meeting up in town for a couple drinks and meeting some new peeps, and more dancing ensued... oooh this has got to stop!
Monday was super chilled and I spent the whole day working on TASS online as we're desperately trying to figure out the best way for the users to interact with the site.

For a bit of fun here's a song I was sent this morning from Chicken... not the most lyrically challenging but when you picture Brian flying down the wing it brings a smile to your face.

Gee%20die%20bal%20vir%20brian.mp3

Why have you foresaken me...

O rugby gods...

You are cruel bastards!

I am most displeased!

The gods of rugby...

O gods of rugby...

Please protect my beloved Sharks tomorrow, and prevent them from tripping over the fallen corpses of the bulls who wear blue.
Grant them the judgement to know when to pass and when to take the gap.
Instill in them the belief that it is actually okay to beat your opponent into a bloody pulp.
Lead them not into the temptation of sitting back after scoring the 8th try.
Grant them the humility that when 50 points up at half time, that they go out and add 60 more just to show they can.
Give Francois Steyn the guidance to slot 3 drop-kicks from within his own half, and please let JP Pieterson catch the ball, for when he does he can be quite good really.
Bestow upon AJ Venter the patience to think whose watching before punching.
Enlighten Butch James of the no-arms rule as he is prone to wonder from the path of righteousness.
Grant Percy Montgomery that little bit of extra speed he's lost over the years , but allow him to bestow upon his team mates the skill and experience we have grown to love.
O rugby gods, light the fire in our forwards' bellies, so they might crush the bulls who wear blue come scrum time.
Lay down your hand on the shoulder of John Smit so when he throws the ball in, it flies straight and true, and finds his jumpers.
Allow Dick Muir the foresight to bring on Adie Jacobs at the right time, as he is too great a player to deny him the feast of points on offer.
Allow Bradley Barritt the confidence to run the ball up, but to every now and then pass the damn ball.
Waylon Murray, O gods of rugby, has been a giant for us, so please allow him to continue on this path.
Our unsung hero, whom was so harshly excluded from the bokke, Jacques Botes... he doesn't need your help, O gods of rugby, for he has been blessed with too great a talent to want for more.
Finally O gods of rugby, protect the bulls who wear blue for they are in for a rough day!

Amen

Now that's what I call a weekend!

Yeah!

I have lost my voice from screaming at the tv yesterday... go the Sharks...you beauties! But let me take a step back.

So as you may have guessed things didn't exactly go to plan on the relationship front, however where one door closes another opens... and I've been seeing quite a bit of one particular girl of late. No I am not a complete bastard... it's complicated.

Aaannyyywayy...

I bought myself a laptop which arrived on Saturday morning...mmmm... it's beautiful. Dell, Core 2 duo 1.73ghz, 2gb ram. Just trying to get used to vista, which is a pain when you have a hangover.

So onto the rugby... how amazing was that game! Forget about the fact that we couldn't find touch because it was a truely gutsy display from a team showing why they deserve to be top of the table. Dick Muir you good thing! I just can't believe Jaques Botes didn't crack the nod for the Springbok training squad... he has been immense for us this season.

Wow this post is terribly written and disjointed! Sorry, feeling far too fragile today, I think I'll retire to facebook for the rest of the evening.

Wanted: New Liver, Kidneys, and Lungs

The party will not stop... I love it!

Right so to continue the diary:

Tuesday: Off to Jolly Roger again! You really can't fault it for consistency!

Wednesday: Admin day, spent taking my gran from place to place and then met with a developer about our second website. Looks like they'll be able to do everything we want and it just may come in on budget!

Thursday: Shopping with mom! Got spoiled... I'll never get too old to be spoiled by my folks! Then off to Saints rugby fest very late, to meet up with mates before heading off to Melville. Old Melville hasn't really changed, and we started the evening off with a bit of sushi before managing a semi-pub crawl whilst being stalked by some rather 'large' women whom my mate thought was a good idea to talk to. Got stuck into the Jager-bombs in a big way before shaking some ass on the dance floor (I still can't do drum 'n bass properly). Another mate then dropped me off at home after passing out in his car on the way and realizing I didn't know where I was.

Friday: MUST CHILL OUT... but noooooooooo, off to lunch with my godparents and some hair-of-the-dog. Lunch turned into afternoon drinks before calling it a day and attempting to catch an early night.

Saturday: Up early for rugby on tv, and last minute admin at the bank. Sharks have a beauty of a game, that's more like it boys! Then off to Saints rugby fest. Had a good time talking shit with my makes and having a couple beers all whilst overlooking the games below. Saints got a thorough trouncing at the hands of Paarl Gym, but that was kinda expected. Then off to a mates house to meet up before catching a cab to Night Fever. Ahhh the Fever... I cannot believe it still exists. As per normal at Fever drank far too many shooters and Jager-bombs, and then demonstrated to the adoring crowd how to completely make an ass of yourself whilst dancing like it was your last night on the planet! I loved every second of it. Minor regret in not paying the young girl I had being buying drinks more attention at this stage...however... bygones!

Sunday: Happy Easter- woke up at a mates house feeling less than fresh and caught the start of the Grand Prix... McLaren 1/2- sweet...my ex would not have enjoyed that result! I then hear the news about the cricket and my mood does not improve... poo. WTF! (I'm lost for words)

So as you can see the party has not let up, however the venues have gone back to basics. Less pretentious and more just about having fun with mates! Only a couple days left in SA, and as sad as I will be to leave... my body will be a lot happier once I do!

Jo'burg- The Good and the Bad

Hectic!

Let me just start off by saying that I am loving being in Joburg. Since my last post I have had a crazy couple of days. It's during these couple days that I have been reminded about one of the things that I don't enjoy about this city, but I'll get to that... first the play by play summary:

Wednesday: After recovering from the 27 Dinner I was off to Q Bar for a coke or two. I eventually managed to put a beer down but it wasn't great. This really is a testament to the previous evening. Q Bar was pretty good, but the point of the evening was to meet up with some mates whom I hadn't seen since being back in SA. I then came home to watch SA almost choke to Sri Lanka.

Thursday: Chilled during the day and then went out for dinner for my sister's birthday at Harrison's in Rivonia. What a quality spot! And really good value. It was really cool to spent time just with my family.

Friday: The beginning of the weekend. I joined a mate for lunch at News Cafe in Sandton, and sacrificed watching my beloved Sharks for the pleasure of my mates company. Another joined me before catching a lift with another mate to go off to Kai Tai in Randburg. I can definitely recommend Kai Tai for a good relaxing drink with mates. From there I went off to Su Da Da in Sandton and then off to Jolly Roger in Parkhurst. I didn't have a lift home from here so spent the night at a mates house.

Saturday: Woke up at my mates house and helped him move before dashing back home to pick up a change of clothes. Then off to a mates flat for a couple gin & tonics then met up with a group of mates before going to Ellis Park to watch the Lions lose to the Brumbies. We then went back and had a bit of a street party before going to Jolly Roger for pizza. Then off to My Bar My Grill, and from there we went to Taboo in Sandton where we hung out with the Brumbies players before being dropped off at home.

Sunday: Got up feeling understandably fragile before my entire family came round for lunch. Had a great day eating oysters and sushi, and drinking Castle Lager. I love Castle it really is one of the best beers I've tasted.

Monday: Met my mate while he was playing touch rugby, and then off to the Dros in Randburg for a drink.

So as you can see I've been partying hard, and racking up the miles. Joburg is a strange place, but I don't think it's changed as much as I have since I left 3 years ago. Whenever you walk into a place in Joburg everyone looks at you and gives you the up-and-down...what's up with that? I am not an interesting person to look at...
Then all these terribly wanky and pretentious places I've been to really take it out of you. I'm not sure if it's the places or the complete tossers that seem to swarm there, but I really don't have the energy for it. Hence why I'm off to Jolly Roger again tonight... to hang around good people, drinking good, well priced beer, and just chilling and talking rubbish.

That being said, I will more than likely find myself in more of the tosser spots, because on some level I'm still a Joburg boy!

The loneliness of offline.

There has been a bit of a break from my daily posts as firstly I have been busy with work related stuff, and secondly I don't have any access of home at the moment because we are busy switching suppliers. It's insane how much my life depends on being able to get online. I'm not a blogging addict and I can live with not blogging for a bit, but it's the day to day stuff that kills me. Eg:

Going out on Friday, I need to know how to get somewhere, can't do as the address is on my Facebook account, and even if I get the address off someone I can't find the directions online. (Frantic run around the house trying to find my old London A-Z.) No internet access also means I can't use internet banking, prompting me to phone in (not as bad as it seems but still not as convenient.) With all the sport this weekend I wasn't able to place any bets, or check any scores of games I had missed, but I'll write more about sport in a minute. No access also means no skype, MSN, and general perusing. What a pain, I really have felt 'naked'.

So onto the sport. All I can say is what an amazing Saturday! If I were a Liverpool and/or Crusaders supporter I would be spitting! However I am a Man Utd and Sharks fan. I sat through a very uninspiring football match, watching my team play some atrocious football, only for them to sneak in a cheeky goal at the death to win the game,- sweet! This was shortly followed by the Sharks pulling the rabbit out of the hat and capitalizing on what I can only say was insane play by the Crusaders. The game was over, and all the Crusaders had to do was kick the ball out. Full credit (in my opinion) has to go to the ref who played the advantage rule to perfect in the dying moments of the game, resulting in the Sharks scoring the try opening up the conversion attempt to secure victory. Up steps Ruan Pienaar ,the Sharks second choice kicker, to slot the ball over from the touchline- talk about big match temperament. So Man Utd are looking strong to win the championship, and the Sharks remain the only unbeaten side in the Super 14. I am chuffed! Here's a very grainy highlights package of the Super 14 games.


In closing: 19 days boys and girls, 19 days!

I rename Tequila...

...Satan's Sweat!

Note to self: If you insist on drinking tequila, which you know does nasty things to you, don't drink it on a Thursday!

Last night I was chuffed to meet up with an old mate whom I got back in touch with thanks to FaceBook. The Foster's flowed as did the conversation, and I ended up having a Tequila! 1x tequila. It really doesn't agree with me, but fortunately I was able to...ah... keeps things under control ;) I really do feel like I'm allergic to tequila, it's the only thing that immediately makes me feel ill after just one.

I am now sitting at work feeling less than great, and I'm dreading the thought of spending the next couple hours watching the minutes count down before I can start my weekend. Not that I have anything super exciting planned. At the moment I'm having to be quite boring and all the exciting news which I have to talk about is not safe to blog about. (You never know who's reading.)

Fortunately the Sharks aren't playing this weekend, and I say fortunately because Sky's coverage is back to being almost non existent, so at least I won't have to bear the thought of not getting to watch my boys play. I'll just have to be content with watch the Lions- yawn! I can however see that it's going to be another boring weekend, all my mates seem to be preoccupied with issues, studying, other halves, etc. How dare they live their own lives, and not fulfill their duty of entertaining me- for shame!

33 Days! Chilled Weekend!

33 days till I am back in SA.

I had quite a relaxed weekend. Started Friday with a work function before heading off for probably one too many drinks in Putney whilst watching the Super 14. It finished with the obligatory dodgey fried chicken and falling asleep on the bus, and waking up just it time.

Saturday I was up early to catch the games, and sort myself out with a good breakfast. Then spent the afternoon working on business stuff, before watching Man Utd make their lives a little harder. It was then time for the main event- my beloved Sharks! Messy game, but a win is a win, and we went top of the log. Chuffed! (Lewi, in case you didn't get my sms, Castle dumpies when we make the semi's)

Stayed in Saturday night, and woke up really refreshed on Sunday. I got bored really quickly and got on the phone and tried to get hold of every single one of my mates. Guys!!! You have a mobile phone for a reason, if you don't want to be disturbed- switch it off! As you can gather, I couldn't get hold of anyone. Thanks to T and Toddles you did get back me. Shame on the rest of you! LOL- I was super bored, and eventually ended up playing pool with my new housemate in Wimbledon.

Will be spending the rest of this week waiting for payday, and for Feb to eventually end!

Only in Africa

It is thankfully a sunny day in London, which is great because I'm having quite a good day. Why am I having a good day? Well because Sky are going to be showing the Sharks game on Saturday!!! Not only that but it also looks like they'll be showing most of the Super 14 games because there is no 6 Nations on this weekend!
Reminder- have you voted yet! If not ----------->Click on the nominate button......now!

Aaaannnyyyway- a mate of mine sent me a great pic, click to enlarge.

Let the healing begin.

There are a few things in life worth holding onto- no matter what.

Friendship is one of these things, and recently Liesel emailed me something which puts it quite nicely:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Last week I came very close to losing a friend. It made me shit myself, (Not literally of course). However the realisation that much of my anger was caused by knowing that I was losing a friend, has made me more determined to hold onto it. Pain and anger are destructive, and there are no long term gains that can be achieved by allowing yourself to give into them. Love and friendship on the other hand, are what make humans capable of great things. (Whoa! That's some deep shit Grant- has a little chuckle to himself- then chuckles again when realising that I'm speak of myself in the 3rd person)

I have learnt a lot about myself recently. I've learnt that I am capable of feeling intense emotions which literally consume me, I've learnt that, of these emotions, I am not capable of hate. I've learnt that being a good person above all else, is the only way I ever want to spend the rest of my life. I've learnt that one of the best things about friends is when they remind you that they care.

To all my friends:
Thank you, and always know I got your back!

So, the Squirrel is back- a bit battle hardened- but back nonetheless. So a quick recap of my weekend:

Sharks!!!
Proteas!!!
Man United!!!
England??? WTF! Didn't see that coming.
TopOf.co.uk!!! Coming soon!!! Six hour marathon meeting to iron out some faults!
Hangover- Oops I did it again! (Best dancer ever)
Held onto a friend.

Why February is the worst month in the UK for me.

I haven't even got through the first day of Feb and already I have been reminded of why Feb is such a kak month for me.
It's not even the shite weather that gets to me. I can handle that and there are things I can do to solve that problem.

The Number 1 reason I hate Feb is because the Super 14 starts! I love the Super 14!!!...

...but... neither Sky nor the BBC show ALL the games. So this weekend when my mighty Sharks hand the Bulls a carrot- I will be sitting at home watching a score ticker on SArugby.com, because they're not showing the game. Instead the almighty Sky (who I pay £42/month for the pleasure)
are showing... wait for it... UIM powerboat racing and football scores (same show on two channels)!

This happens every year!!!

I have hopefully found a solution though. I'm gonna buy a SlingBox and take it back to SA when I go back over Easter. I'm then going to stream the games to my home PC which I'll hook up to my LCD, and presto!Problem solved!
There are only two problems I can forsee. 1.) The slingbox might not like like Dstv 2.) Upstream speeds in SA using iBurst are only up to 345kbps. That's the max and Slingbox recommends a min of 300kbps, so the picture could be kak, but in all honesty I'd learn to live with it.

If anyone reading this has had any experience using a SlingBox in SA or knows of an alternative please drop a comment- I'm desperate. Like 'toaster in the bath' desperate.

There goes the neighborhood

See what happens! I go away for a little bit, and can't get a daily SArugby.com fix, and what did they announce last week- Bob Skinstad signs for the Sharks!
I really hope they aren't paying a lot of money for him, seeing as how the Sharks didn't manage to sign Jonghi Nokwe, probably because they are too busy forking out a 6-figure salary for an out of shape player who has spent the better part of 3 years running playing for a 2nd division side in London.

This is all an effort for Bob to apparently try and make the Springbok team. Are you having a laugh! (I love Ricky Gervais) A player of Bob's age cannot simply regain the sort of form he was in at his prime, in less than 12 months. Who's place is he going to take in the Sharks team (let alone the Springboks)- AJ?

I am personally hoping that this is more of a marketing ploy by the Sharks! I can imagine the Sharks PR company now: "Let's leak a story that Bob's gonna play on the wing!", says Koos, "Nah, nobody will believe that", replies Dawie, so Koos exclaims "Shoo, you're right Dawie, better put him at centre instead!"

Ice-skating,Bok treble, and a Sky disaster.

Happy Monday everyone! 3 weeks to Christmas, and almost more importantly three and half weeks to Dublin!

I had quite a relaxing weekend, which started with some very subdued drinks after work on Friday. I discovered that a mate of mine from my Rhodes days is in London, and so I'm really chuffed that I'll get to see him again after 3 years. (Zimbo's are tough to track down.)

Saturday was really good as Rob had got tickets to go ice-skating at the natural history museum. I distinctly remember being a lot better on the ice than I was on saturday. I spent most of the hour long session slowly negotiating corners and avoiding little kids' fingers. Remembering the advice dished out to us as children, "when you fall make a fist so your fingers don't get cut off!". Now honestly, I've been ice-skating a few times over the years and I have never seen anyone come close to having there fingers cut off! Better advise is probably to put your hands out when you fall, as failing to do so results in you hitting your head on the ice. This was demonstrated by some poor guy on Saturday who while obviously trying not to let his fingers get hacked off, dropped his shoulder into the ice and managed to cut his eye open- ouch!

I watched the ashes until about 3:30am Sunday, before catching a kip, and when I got up to switch the cricket on I was confronted by a horrible site. "No satellite signal being received"
The night before we had some serious gale force winds and they had obviously knocked the dish out of place. A 45min call to Sky confirmed this and because we are 20 days out of warranty (Murphy's), it'll cost us £65 to get an engineer out on Thursday!!! So off to the Walkabout I went to catch the Proteas dish out some punishment to the Indians. Followed by a solid Bok win over a very average World XV. Note: If Francois Steyn can learn to keep those massive punts infield, he'll scare a lot of opposition in whatever position he plays.

Oh, and the bok 7's won the opening event in Dubai. Coming from behind against the Kiwi's, good work chaps!

So I start another week, counting the days to New Year.

P.S. My web start-up is starting to get built on Wednesday, expect to hear lots more on this topic in the future.

Thank You- by zefrank

Gutted! (and I need to learn to keep my mouth shut)

What a weekend! Rubbed shoulders with seriously B-grade celebrities on Friday night at the Children in Need charity evening. The free booze contributing to me dropping names left right and centre to a mate who I bumped into on the way home- Grant you idiot, nobody gives a damn if you did meet Jordan and Baby Spice.

Awoke Saturday feeling rather fragile, but was not afraid for a bit of the hair of the dog at 11:30. Got to Twickenham in good time, and thanks to Adey being an O2 customer we managed to get a free beer and pie in the tent.

The atmosphere in the stadium was amazing, and we sat in the new stand. Took great pride in belting out Nkosi Sikeleli at the top of my lungs, only to have my effort dwarfed by God save the Queen. Everyone reading this probably watched the game so I won't give a play by play, but safe to say- Butch you beauty! Pity we lost- but a huge improvement.

Left the game and made our way back to a friends' house warming party, where, thanks once again to the booze, I managed to make a fool out of myself. Note to self- there is no way to come back from calling a girl an elephant, no matter how out of context it is!

So all in all a great weekend, just need to learn that I am not very witty when pissed, and it's probably best to just shut up and nod! -LOL

Butch vs. Hodgson

The UK press is all in a tis-was, about the comments of Jake White regarding his intentions of man-marking Charlie Hodgson with Butch James, so I thought I would give my own 5 cents/pence worth.

This is all a mind-game. Yes Butch is a physical player, and yes I'm sure at some stage during the game Butch will unleash a no-arm 'tackle' (read shoulder charge). However I seriously doubt that in this day and age of video refs, and video evidence in disciplinary matters that Jake White will give Butch the sole purpose of inflicting pain on Hodgson with an eagle-eyed ref watching.

Given the way our loose forwards struggled to secure turn-over ball last week, and the predicted weather conditions, it is obvious that the English flyhalf will play an even more vital role. Jake knows that Hodgson is a confidence player and only really has a good game when this pack is on the front foot.

Come tomorrow afternoon the English loose forwards will secure the ball, and the ball will flow freely to Hodgson, who, as he gets the ball will not only be thinking of what move his backline are running, looking for gaps in which to kick or run the ball, he will have the constant knowledge that there is a 100+kg springbok called Butch James hunting him. In the split second the flyhalf has to make game breaking decisions, Hodgson will rush his decision forcing a mistake. During this time Butch has in fact been simply shadowing him knowing that the ref is watching his actions very closely. Later in the game, once Hodgson figures this out, (and the ref is no longer giving Butch the evil eye) he will think he has more time on the ball, and it is at this stage that Butch will be given the half second needed to absolutely crunch Hodgson.

Just my guess! Alternatively the first chance Butch gets he'll steamroller Hodgson and get sent off for dangerous play. Good strategy guys, tell the opposition a week in advance what you plan to do!

Come on the bokke!

I am off to Twickenham on Saturday to watch the Boks play England! Going to be sitting in the new stand which doesn't have the roof yet and the weather prediction is wet! Do I care- not one bit!
Look for me on the tv, I will be the one cheering for Butch as he unleashes a clothes-line tackle on Charlie Hodgson!

Owned! This has got to hurt.