WTF! Encyclopedia Dramatica

You can imagine my surprise when I took a look at my logs to find out why there was a sudden spike in traffic (turns out I'm on the first page of google images for the term- london snow) and I find Encyclopedia Dramatica in my referrer logs.

Encyclopedia Dramatica is a spoof on wikipedia and the South African entry is beyond description... let's just say it wouldn't exactly feature on SA Rocks!
So you can imagine my disgust when I found that this entry was linking to my blog.
"Typical example of a dumbfuck saffa blog"

Hmmm... initial reaction was who, what, where...can... whoop ass... now! Edit- history search- user search. User=Stabularasa, and then I thought... hang on a tick...

(little voice inside my head)
"Grant... is it really worth getting worked up because some wanker who frequents (and edits) this sort of content decided to link to your blog?"

The answer is, of course, no.

So I checked out what Encyclopedia Dramatica was about and it clearly states:

"While the articles themselves are mostly satirical jabs at Internet users (both individually and in groups) and phenomena, bear in mind that the Encyclopedia Dramatica itself is a parody of a much less funny online encyclopedia. As such, ED articles tend to make fun of the supposed objectivity and accuracy, elitism, and stupid edit wars of such sites. In other words, expect blatant, biased lies, and expect boring truths to get deleted quickly."

Calmness restored.
Whilst I do not condone the majority of the content of the South Africa page, and I find it mostly in particularly bad taste, I can accept the attempt at satire. So... Stabularasa... I'm honoured you feel my blog is worthy of a link to this site. (Really, there are far better people whom you could've baited with this.)

Much love!

Feeling pretty pumped.

I just got back from a seriously productive meeting with my business partners to discuss some amendments to our site. There is an awesome buzz amongst the group s we can see everything coming together. As you can imagine there is more than a fair amount of work ahead of us, but none of us seem too worried by that... it's part of the process.

Read today that online retail in SA has increased a further 35% year-on-year up to R900million odd....sweet! Gimme a piece of that pie.

It's very tempting to start saying more than I should but my partners have asked me to keep my big mouth shut... so I will.

So I've got home after the meeting feeling pretty pumped... so much so that I've had to open a beer just to ensure that I chill out before heading off to bed. Guess this is the passion that people speak about!

Tomorrow is a hectic day at work as I have two more major proposals to do, but having said that the day job is still pushing all the right buttons at the moment, and having TASS as a distraction is awesome.

Anyway, as it has become a theme over the past couple posts... here's another music video:

Blogged with Flock

Sunday... grey, but chilled.

Have spent most of today continuing to test things out with the site and watch episodes of Smallville. Series seven is the shiz niz!

An added bonus to the insanely gorgeous women on the show is the soundtrack, and here's a semi-suicidal song which I'm enjoying:

Blogged with Flock

Woohoo, we've begun testing

Very exciting times for Tass Online Ltd. We've started internal testing of our comparison site. At first look... we're chuffed. Of course there are a couple bugs here and there but honestly I would've been very suspicious if there hadn't been things to pick up on.

I've now tested it on most browser versions except Safari... but I'm not concerned as from the little I know Safari is less likely to cause issues. I'm now onto getting the blog up and running and deciding on which forum software to  get.

The logo needs working on, and I'm toying with the idea of doing yet another logo competition. Since the iPhone isn't being launched in SA maybe I should give that away as a prize! lol... might have to downgrade that to a Touch.

On a separate note, this is my first entry using the functionality of Flock. So far I've been really impressed. I was always a fan of firefox, and Flock just takes things up a notch. It's because of Flock that I've finally seen the point of twitter... now don't all have a go at me because of my ignorance... but previously I didn't see what twitter brought to the party.

Gotta run... found a drinking partner for the evening... in closing... my latest mood in music:

Blogged with Flock

Street Fighter 4

When I think back to the what must've been close to a couple hundred Rand which I fed into the arcade machine down at the local cafe, watching this teaser trailer really gets me excited. Now I am not exactly a hardcore gamer in any sense and I enjoy computer games as much as any guy with a healthy drinking habit... but the memory of countless hours shouting HADOUKEN! and SONIC BOOM! (Ken, Ryu, and Guile) justs makes me have a quiet little giggle to myself. Those were the days.

Why does facebook think I'm gay?

For a while now I've been considering facebook and their ads. For a site which collects far too much information about people... why on earth isn't any of the information used to at least target me with relevent ads? Here's the latest, a gay dating site using the facebook flyer, (which to be fair is super cheap and you wouldn't expect it to be targeted.) But come-on... interested in...women!!!

(P.S. Ladies as you can see from my dashing profile, I'm both incredibly good looking and single.)
(P.P.S. The black thing on my cheek comes off, and the baby blue t-shirt no longer exists)

Why the obsession with traffic?

Over the past couple weeks I've been observing how the SA blogosphere is obsessed with traffic and quite frankly I'm baffled.
Now before you slate me in the comments section please understand that I spend all day every day dealing in traffic. I work with every online revenue metric, and web traffic in essence puts a roof over my head.

Now the SA blogosphere is riddled with people trying to get more people to read their blogs. My question is- Why?

Is it brag value? If so, there's no shame in that. (I also check my various rankings and like it when I go up.)

Are people trying to make money? If so then bloggers need to understand that internet revenue is not simply a case of getting your page impressions up. Put bluntly... traffic does not necessarily equal revenue. More importantly a worthwhile revenue.

So if it's not ego or money, then why the need for increased traffic?

As I said in the beginning, I'm baffled, and I don't have the answer.

Man down.

Gym can be bad for you!
I have apparently suffered a minor hernia... whateva! I'm calling it a dodgy stomach. Although it does feel like I've been kicked in the balls. oooh TMI!

So it's going to be a quiet weekend for me, fortunately the rugby will keep me nicely occupied. I'm considering taking a drive somewhere out of London, but haven't decided where.

Apart from that, I've been pretty boring recently...oh... I did go to the Digital Music Awards.... oh... and saw Incubus last weekend... ok not so boring. :)

I didn't win tickets to Led Zeppelin unfortunately... (1,000,000 people registered for 20,000 tickets)

Before I sign off... here's a wicked video I found... the first minute is rubbish but trust me it gets better... it's amazing how much time some people seem to have on the hands?

Who is- The Colony?

Over the past couple days I've received visits from people who may not have read my blog before, and I've received a few requests for more information as to who I am. So here you go:

My name is Grant and I am first and foremost- a South African.
I grew up in Joburg, before going to Rhodes for a brief 'gap year' which was supposed to involve studying. The extra-curricular activities which Grahamstown had to offer proved to be too much for me, so I moved back to Joburg in order to pay for my student loan whilst continuing to study. I eventually managed a Bcom (Marketing and Management).

After graduating I made use of the ancestry visa available to me to travel to the UK. This trip started of as a typical gap year, but has developed into the beginning of my carreer.

I have worked for and with some of the largest online companies in the world, starting as a salesman, then account management, then business developement, and now I have started my own company. I still work during the day, which, at it's simplest involves selling banner ads, and at it's most complex involves negotiating site takeovers and integrations. My own company is still in the very early days. Our first site is still in private beta testing and our second site is about to go into development. There are plans for a third, however we'll have to see whether we are any good with the first two before investing more money. I am by no means a technical person, and whilst I have a vague knowledge of tech jargon I prefer to leave this to the experts.

This blog was originally setup to keep my friends and family back in SA up to date with what was happening in my life. It has since developed into somewhat of an online journal where I dump pretty much anything I like. I don't blog to an audience so please don't expect any consistancy with the content. What one day is a post regarding the state of online advertising, could quite easily the next day be a post about how drunk I got at a Foo fighters concert.

That pretty much somes up who I am at the moment. Sorry to disappoint.

Here's my LinkedIn profile.

Deezer.com- A new era in music

A couple posts ago I wrote about Blogmusik.net

Well they've gone completely legit and renamed themselves Deezer.com. I can't stress how cool this service is.
I was lucky enough to meet the owner of the site yesterday and I will be working with them with regard to their UK activity in about 2 weeks time. I'm super stoked!
When Deezer goes mainstream and comes up in conversation the way that facebook does (are our conversations that boring that we have to fall back on facebook rather than the old faithful, "so how about this weather") I will be able to non-chelantly say... "Yeah I work with them ona couple things"- Man I'm cool! (Quietly calling myself a dork in my head)

I have been slowly growing my Deezer playlist ( Widget--------->) and discovered some wicked new artists. When I eventually get organised I'm going to start using the widget to let my dedicated reader (note lack of plural) know some of the music I'm currently tapping my foot to.

Man I'm cool......... (Dork)

Mopey Squirrel is taking the day off

Okay...so....

I've been crazy busy recently and it has really started to affect my mood and general outlook on life. So today I'm taking the day off! You know things are getting crazy when you have to make a conscious decision to take a breather on a Saturday!

I've got a mate coming over for a braai and to watch rugby, then I'm off to a mates not-so-surprise birthday party. I plan to just chill the whole day!

In other news, I think I've managed to come to a decision on the matter that I was having trouble with in an earlier post. I can't say I'm pleased with the outcome, however I've played out every scenario in my head and looked at all the angles and unfortunately there is no escaping the fact that it's a lose-lose situation. So I'm going to have to choose the one direction that limits the damage. -It sucks! I suppose life isn't always going to involve easy decisions, and it's not always possible to solve every problem. (As much as I believe I can.)

Even as I write this I'm still not convinced, and I'm struggling to face the reality of it.

Enough cryptic DMC.... time to chill!

Scouting for girls- It's not about you.

Two more Jim and Pam video's

Since finding the first video, I've been having a hoot watching user mashups of the US version of The Office. Having dabbled in video editing I know that some of these people have sent hours getting these right. The videos show the relationship (or lack thereof) between Jim and Pam.

Why do I only perform during periods of stress?

My mind works in mysterious ways!

I'm being pulled in a million different directions at the moment, and for some reason I seem to be accomplishing everything with surprising efficetiveness.

I'm not saying I'm some super human over-achiever. In fact most of the stress is self inficted, but due to the emotional rollercoaster- I'm extremely focussed. Is my flight or fight response kicking in?

There are some areas which I'm failing dismally at, but on reflection... I was on a hiding to nowhere there anyway. I'm still struggling with having to make a really big decision with this particular area, and as much my head is telling me one thing... my gut feel is that I haven't explored all the options yet. So do I persist and continue to beat myself up over a losing cause, or do I not give up and fight for something which means a lot to me? Yes- it is as complicated as it sounds... and I'm desperately trying not to think about it, but it's not in my nature to do so.

I'm missing home a lot at the moment.

Anyway- onto the success stories!

I'm doing relatively well at work at the moment.
My first site is now live and we're working out the bugs.
We're almost ready to start on the second site.
I'm about to become a 'Google Advertising Professional'.
I'm going to V-fest, and Edinburgh to watch the boks this month.

So I'm keeping my head down, and my chin up.... (LOL- that's physically impossible if you think about it.)

It's been one of those weeks

Decoding the female venacular

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
Right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
Usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

Flight of the Conchord

These guys are outstanding!

My top 5

Everyone should know the rules of top 5, but just to remind you. Your top 5 are in no particular order.



Scarlett Johansson
Monica Potter
Rachael Leigh Cook
Olivia Hussey
Kate Beckinsale

I'm soooo cuffed!

Yip.... I hang my head in shame. I setup another Muti account to submit my story about the perpetual motion machine. Being the clever ass that I am- I then commented using that username as myself. What a prat! Stupid, silly, uncalled for.... let the mockery begin.

Quick catch-up

I have been seriously busy recently, hence the lack of blog posts. Now that I've managed 5min during my lunch break I thought I'd fire 3 posts in!

Life is pretty simple, yet chaotic at the moment. Work, work, work... toss in a couple gym sessions for good measure, and the occassional night out.

The real reason for the post is really just so I can show off my up coming social schedule and make people jealous. I'm a bastard I know.... but that's just how I roll. (p.s. that's a new ghetto speak saying I've added to my vocab to compliment 'fo shizzle'.)

This Saturday: Watching the rugby then off to Wembley Stadium for Live Earth. I was lucky enough to win the chance to buy tickets (yip you read that right, you had to enter a competition just for the chance to buy tickets). Line-up is:

Madonna
Genesis
Metallica
Kasabian
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Corinne Bailey Rae
Bloc Party
Foo fighters
James blunt
Duran Duran
Damien Rice
Razor Light
Beastie Boys
Snow Patrol
Paulo Nutini
David Gray
John Legend
Black Eyed Peas
Keane

(Should be....above average!!!!)

Then in August: V fest- here are a few of the headliners

The Killers
Kasabian
James
The Fratellis
KT Tunstall
James Morrison
The Goo Goo Dolls
Foo Fighters
Snow Patrol
Pink
Kanye West
Paolo Nutini
The Kooks
Manic Street Preachers
Lily Allen
Basement Jaxx
Amy Winehouse
Jet
The Fray<
Damien Rice
Corinne Bailey Rae
Sophie Ellis Bexter

(Also....not bad!!!)

Then the week after I'm off to Edinburgh to watch SA play Scotland at Murrayfield, and go to the Edinburgh festival.

Being me sucks so much! :P

What about now?

Is the world about to be changed by magnets!

How would the world change if... someone could create a way to provide free, clean, and constant energy?

Forget cold fusion people... the way of the future is magnets - apparently!
Today an Irish company- Steorn- is due to demonstrate their Orbo Technology which claims to achieve free, clean, and constant energy.
In doing so they will defy the laws of thermodynamics, and not only, not lose energy in the process, but actually gain energy (claimed energy efficiency of 400%).

To dumb it down considerably- they plan to make things go round magnets and when they get back to where they started, instead of losing energy they will actually have more energy than when they started.

I'm no scientist, but I know enough to know that if successful this will change the world as we know it. So rather than rehash the available info check out these links:

Steorn website
Wikipedia: Orbo technology
Free Energy Tracker Blog
Kinetica Museum announcement of demo

Vincent Maher made me cry!

Vincent Maher posted this video and after watching it three times I still get shivers down my spine... and yip I too...cried like a baby.
As I type this I'm watching the live final on TV... I'm actually considering spending the cash and voting for him.

Look after you

Something I've learnt about myself over the years is that I love being the hero.

Maybe it was growing up to fairy tales of knights in shining armour rescuing the princess from the tower. However maybe it's a flaw in my character that I feel people need rescuing. In all honesty if it is a flaw to think that way, then surely it's better than the opposite. Imagine if I hid or ran when people needed me.

I dunno, and to be perfectly honest, I don't care... I love being the shoulder to cry on, the hand the pick someone up, the smile when someones feeling down.

At the same time, I'm never short of advice. I love being an authority on happiness, heartache, and life in general. This coming from a soon-to-be-26yr-old, with (let's be honest) limited life experience. However, I won't change this either. I think I give pretty good advise... I never pretend to have all the answers but what I say comes from the heart, and I honestly do believe it's the right thing to say.

The reason I'm writing this post is that two very special women in my life have been on the receiving end of my advise recently, and I just wanted to let them know I'm thinking of them.

As, has become customary, with my thoughtful posts...here's my mood in music:

The Fray: Look after you.

Give the ball to Brian

A crazy long weekend!
Started off on Friday feeling rather poorly, but that what soon not an issue after watching SA crush England on Saturday. Being the great sports better that I am, I put cash on SA to win between 46-50 points @ 22/1...yeah boy. Pity I only £1 on, but it still paid for a couple drinks on Saturday which turned out to be a crazy day of partying, ending off with a night of 'best dancer ever' syndrome.
Sunday was just as crazy, meeting up in town for a couple drinks and meeting some new peeps, and more dancing ensued... oooh this has got to stop!
Monday was super chilled and I spent the whole day working on TASS online as we're desperately trying to figure out the best way for the users to interact with the site.

For a bit of fun here's a song I was sent this morning from Chicken... not the most lyrically challenging but when you picture Brian flying down the wing it brings a smile to your face.

Gee%20die%20bal%20vir%20brian.mp3

So near....

I know I have been neglecting my blog recently, however there have been a lot of different things going on recently.

1.) Failed attempt at a relationship.
2.) Start of a new relationship. Shoo that was fast!
3.) Technical issues getting first site launched... (Super frustrating)
4.) New job, which is going well.
5.) Facebook takes up a lot of my internet time which would've been dedicated to blogging.

I'm currently seeing an particularily cute Zimbabwean girl, who makes me smile a lot and laughs at my jokes... even when they're not funny! Score... you know you've struck gold when this happens... especially if you've heard my jokes before.

TASS Online is having some technical issues at the moment as we try and get the site live. I'm not the most technical person but it's got to do with the database not being supported by our hosting company...which sucks! Otherwise, we have started planning site no.2 codenamed tazoo, and the initial spec should be completed by the end of the week. I'm very excited about this site as it is something that I have a lot of experience in, so I'm really confident it will be a winner. Initially it was going to be launched in SA only, however we have found a new way to launch it in the UK without it requiring too many man hours.

New job is a cracker, and I'm learning a whole bunch of new stuff about a part of the online world which initially I thought I knew about, but now realise I had no idea. This role is a lot more creative than many of my previous roles, and it this aspect that i am enjoying most at the moment. However I still have some way to go before I have a firm understanding.

Facebook... ahhh... how many hours have you devoured! Having just cracked the 200 friends mark (Man, I'm cool...do you wanna touch me!) I have got back in touch with a whole host of people I went to primary school with! Hectic! People have been posting pictures from Grd 2, and I have quite enjoyed trying to remember who all those little kids were... and are now!

It's a long weekend this weekend in the UK, and I'm really looking forward to a good lie in on Monday, especially seeing as there will be a fair bit of partying and working on TASS. Also looking forward to being able to talk about rugby again! (Single tear...trickles...down...cheek...sniff...so close!)

Now that's what I call a weekend!

Yeah!

I have lost my voice from screaming at the tv yesterday... go the Sharks...you beauties! But let me take a step back.

So as you may have guessed things didn't exactly go to plan on the relationship front, however where one door closes another opens... and I've been seeing quite a bit of one particular girl of late. No I am not a complete bastard... it's complicated.

Aaannyyywayy...

I bought myself a laptop which arrived on Saturday morning...mmmm... it's beautiful. Dell, Core 2 duo 1.73ghz, 2gb ram. Just trying to get used to vista, which is a pain when you have a hangover.

So onto the rugby... how amazing was that game! Forget about the fact that we couldn't find touch because it was a truely gutsy display from a team showing why they deserve to be top of the table. Dick Muir you good thing! I just can't believe Jaques Botes didn't crack the nod for the Springbok training squad... he has been immense for us this season.

Wow this post is terribly written and disjointed! Sorry, feeling far too fragile today, I think I'll retire to facebook for the rest of the evening.

Choose your attitude...

On a training course I was on once, we were taught when you wake up in the morning you had to choose your attitude, so after my little escapade last night with brother Famous and Brother Grouse, here is my mood in music... (note to self, really should stop drinking and blogging)

If only...

My mood in music (a couple of them)

It's angry but you can't argue with it... last minute or so...



Kinda cryptic but you get the point...



Fall out boy really needs the lyrics... replace 'he' with 'she'...



You don't need the lyrics for this one...you've seen it before...imagine two personalities fighting to say things at the same time, one logical, one pretty bleak...



I really thought this wasn't gonna suck as much as it does...

Table for 1, singing out loud, & Squirrel is thinking of you.

I know it's borderline alcohlism, but hey, I'm having a good time!

I am currently sitting at home alone with two good friends of mine- Famous and Grouse, quality chaps, and really good listeners!
I'm celebrating landing my first deal in my new graft, and since I couldn't recruit anyone to have a quite drink with me (I suppose a Monday night isn't exactly condusive to that sort of thing), I'm chilling at home having a 'wail' of a time drinking whiskey and singing aloud to some quality tunes.
Disclaimer: This song is not intended to reflect my attitudes towards anyone or my current state of mind... it's just a cracking good song. Man! I never thought I'd have to explain myself so much just to post a video.



So anyway... I'm a happy guy at the moment... busy...but happy. I've got lots of really positive things happening at the moment, and it's probably best that I leave them unblogged. Sorry to leave you hanging like that, it's just better to not count your chickens before they've hatched.

On to a new topic... women!
Many of the women in my life at the moment are are having a rough time, and because I take it rather personally when this happens, it's affecting me. Whether it be boyfriend troubles, work troubles, 'I don't know what I'm doing with my life' troubles, they all are not happy. So here's a little video for all those girls who are having a kak time... it's dorky, but you can't help but sing along.



That's what friends are for!

Cricket causes pain.

I will not write about the cricket... it is a dirty word, and I refuse to speak of it. It causes you to do silly things like, stand by yourself in a bar for an hour waiting for a mate to rock-up, pay £3 for 50g of shit biltong, drink far too much beer, slide down bannisters... and most painful of all... think it's hilarious when you're pushed off said bannister. Ohhh the pain in the morning when the pain-numbing properties of booze wear off, and you have to limp to work! The picture shows my superbly tanned and toned leg and the swelling from my graceful swan dive down a flight of stairs. Thank you Whitty you twat....lol.

Still alive...just swamped at the moment.

It's over a week since my last post, and despite suffering from serious withdrawal I just can't find the time to write a decent post.
I've got lots of exciting things going on at the moment, and a 2 second write-up just won't do them justice... so be patient. In fact looking at my schedule.... be very patient.

Ahhh...the best Monday ever

Yes ladies and gentlemen (more for the gents though)... it's Tit Monday.

"That glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.

After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...

And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.

As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make."

Disclaimer: I received this in an email a couple years ago, and upon seeking it's source found many copies and variations. So this is not my own work, there I said it. It's still funny though!

The end and the beginning.

I am now back in London, but first let me recount my last days in SA.

Easter Monday: Spend the day chilling with my folks, and attempt to organise on final drinking session. I thought it would be appropriate that I go to the Colony Arms for farewell drinks and so after dinner I head off with my sister as my designated driver. Get to The Colony expecting to be greeted by the waft of John Deere's, only to find that it was closed...wtf! So not to be deterred my mates moved onto plan B without so much as a hiccup- the Jolly Roger- you just can't fault it for consistency. It really is a fine establishment, and on my last night it was perfect! (You know it's good when even when it's shite Swimsuit Models go there.) The evening was a quiet affair as I suspect my mates were a little tired and had work the next day, so many couldn't come. No matter, my 2 greatest mates were there and the Castle Draft flowed nicely. My sister was a super star and didn't grumble once for having to stick around.

Tuesday: Last day in SA. Made sure the washing was done, returned my gran's car and took her for lunch. Then picked up my sister's car from the garage and took her to get the speakers, I had got her for her Birthday, installed. Then chilled at home watching cricket and passing the time before going to the airport. After my Dad dropped me off I found the pub showing the cricket and sat and had a drink and a couple cigs. Oh the dread of having to get onto he plane! On the plane I was seated amongst a german family and of course the youngest was next to me. The whole flight all I could think was, Oh My God... surely one kid does not need to piss this much. Every half an hour!!! Then he fell asleep and I felt the tension drain from my body and I got my PSP out. As I switched it on he woke up... it's as if he could smell the disc warming up and for the next couple hours proceeded to watch me play over my shoulder. He would lean closer and I would move it away so I cold see what I was doing, closer- move it away, closer- move it away... until I was eventually holding the console in the aisle and his neck was craning to see what was going on! The little pig dog! (swein hond).

Wednesday: Plane lands in Madrid, and thanks to my Schengen Visa still having 4 days left on it I didn't have to be sent to a different terminal with the rest of my TB/Aids/terrorist/asylum seeking countrymen. They really have funny regulations for anyone displaying the little green passport. This most recent example really highlighted this as I was able to bullshit my way through the entire airport all because I had a piece of paper glued into my passport saying that the french trusted me once... what a joke! Anyway, I got to Heathrow and called a cab as the thought of tubing it home was right up there with Chinese Water Torture. On arriving home I met my new housemate from New Zealand and after a ten minute discussion duly passed out on the couch from exhaustion!

Thursday: Woke up very confused as I wasn't sure where I was, and then spent the rest of the day catching up on the series I had missed while in SA.

So now it's back to the norm of the UK. Fortunately I have some exciting things to look forward to and the weather is playing nice so far. Got a TASS Group meeting this weekend and I expect some exciting news will be announced soon regarding this.

Wanted: New Liver, Kidneys, and Lungs

The party will not stop... I love it!

Right so to continue the diary:

Tuesday: Off to Jolly Roger again! You really can't fault it for consistency!

Wednesday: Admin day, spent taking my gran from place to place and then met with a developer about our second website. Looks like they'll be able to do everything we want and it just may come in on budget!

Thursday: Shopping with mom! Got spoiled... I'll never get too old to be spoiled by my folks! Then off to Saints rugby fest very late, to meet up with mates before heading off to Melville. Old Melville hasn't really changed, and we started the evening off with a bit of sushi before managing a semi-pub crawl whilst being stalked by some rather 'large' women whom my mate thought was a good idea to talk to. Got stuck into the Jager-bombs in a big way before shaking some ass on the dance floor (I still can't do drum 'n bass properly). Another mate then dropped me off at home after passing out in his car on the way and realizing I didn't know where I was.

Friday: MUST CHILL OUT... but noooooooooo, off to lunch with my godparents and some hair-of-the-dog. Lunch turned into afternoon drinks before calling it a day and attempting to catch an early night.

Saturday: Up early for rugby on tv, and last minute admin at the bank. Sharks have a beauty of a game, that's more like it boys! Then off to Saints rugby fest. Had a good time talking shit with my makes and having a couple beers all whilst overlooking the games below. Saints got a thorough trouncing at the hands of Paarl Gym, but that was kinda expected. Then off to a mates house to meet up before catching a cab to Night Fever. Ahhh the Fever... I cannot believe it still exists. As per normal at Fever drank far too many shooters and Jager-bombs, and then demonstrated to the adoring crowd how to completely make an ass of yourself whilst dancing like it was your last night on the planet! I loved every second of it. Minor regret in not paying the young girl I had being buying drinks more attention at this stage...however... bygones!

Sunday: Happy Easter- woke up at a mates house feeling less than fresh and caught the start of the Grand Prix... McLaren 1/2- sweet...my ex would not have enjoyed that result! I then hear the news about the cricket and my mood does not improve... poo. WTF! (I'm lost for words)

So as you can see the party has not let up, however the venues have gone back to basics. Less pretentious and more just about having fun with mates! Only a couple days left in SA, and as sad as I will be to leave... my body will be a lot happier once I do!

Jo'burg- The Good and the Bad

Hectic!

Let me just start off by saying that I am loving being in Joburg. Since my last post I have had a crazy couple of days. It's during these couple days that I have been reminded about one of the things that I don't enjoy about this city, but I'll get to that... first the play by play summary:

Wednesday: After recovering from the 27 Dinner I was off to Q Bar for a coke or two. I eventually managed to put a beer down but it wasn't great. This really is a testament to the previous evening. Q Bar was pretty good, but the point of the evening was to meet up with some mates whom I hadn't seen since being back in SA. I then came home to watch SA almost choke to Sri Lanka.

Thursday: Chilled during the day and then went out for dinner for my sister's birthday at Harrison's in Rivonia. What a quality spot! And really good value. It was really cool to spent time just with my family.

Friday: The beginning of the weekend. I joined a mate for lunch at News Cafe in Sandton, and sacrificed watching my beloved Sharks for the pleasure of my mates company. Another joined me before catching a lift with another mate to go off to Kai Tai in Randburg. I can definitely recommend Kai Tai for a good relaxing drink with mates. From there I went off to Su Da Da in Sandton and then off to Jolly Roger in Parkhurst. I didn't have a lift home from here so spent the night at a mates house.

Saturday: Woke up at my mates house and helped him move before dashing back home to pick up a change of clothes. Then off to a mates flat for a couple gin & tonics then met up with a group of mates before going to Ellis Park to watch the Lions lose to the Brumbies. We then went back and had a bit of a street party before going to Jolly Roger for pizza. Then off to My Bar My Grill, and from there we went to Taboo in Sandton where we hung out with the Brumbies players before being dropped off at home.

Sunday: Got up feeling understandably fragile before my entire family came round for lunch. Had a great day eating oysters and sushi, and drinking Castle Lager. I love Castle it really is one of the best beers I've tasted.

Monday: Met my mate while he was playing touch rugby, and then off to the Dros in Randburg for a drink.

So as you can see I've been partying hard, and racking up the miles. Joburg is a strange place, but I don't think it's changed as much as I have since I left 3 years ago. Whenever you walk into a place in Joburg everyone looks at you and gives you the up-and-down...what's up with that? I am not an interesting person to look at...
Then all these terribly wanky and pretentious places I've been to really take it out of you. I'm not sure if it's the places or the complete tossers that seem to swarm there, but I really don't have the energy for it. Hence why I'm off to Jolly Roger again tonight... to hang around good people, drinking good, well priced beer, and just chilling and talking rubbish.

That being said, I will more than likely find myself in more of the tosser spots, because on some level I'm still a Joburg boy!

The Aftermath.

With such a dramatic title I really hope I can do it justice when trying to recall the events of last night at the 27 Dinner.

It was with much trepidation that I climbed into my sisters' Corsa last night and headed off to Melrose Arch. My nerves had been somewhat calmed by the invitation of Nic to come and introduce myself so I wouldn't look too lost. However all the roads in Jo'burg have changed ever so slightly and I managed to get myself lost, and it was only by blind luck that I literally stumbled upon the correct off ramp.

I walked into Primi Forum and immediately knew I was in the right place, and I must commend Mike, Dave, and everyone else involved in organising a really top event. I made my way straight to the bar and despite the less than optimal bar service I managed to get my hands on an ice cold peroni... I love spending pounds in SA! I then noticed a blatant spelling error on the about section of my blog as it was blown up 6x6 feet...doh!

Despite considering myself a complete extrovert I was decidedly nervous, fortunately I found Nic and immediately felt less spare. I was introduced to the Rhodes crowd and then found myself a seat at the bar. I enjoyed all the presentations however it was the mingling in between which I most enjoyed. I met Justin whom I had tongue-in-cheek...ily offered R100 for Grabble to. LOL- still sounds funny when I say it.

Once the presentations were over I got stuck into the beers again and had a chat to Dave and managed to introduce myself to Mike. I then had a good laugh chatting the guys from Chumpstyle about monetising their site.

All of a sudden it seemed the night was over and I found myself searching for my sisters car (I couldn't remember what level I had parked it on).

I had a great evening and really enjoyed being able to chat to guys whom I would not have been able to meet otherwise.

(Just so everyone knows the reason this post is so late is because I apparently picked up a bug from my sister and was man-down the whole of yesterday... that's my story and I'm sticking to it, it had nothing to do with the booze :p)

Feels like the first day at school.

Being back in SA is the shizznizz!

Only thing is that having been out of the country for so long, I am completely out of the loop... of everything. Just getting around is a mission. I know where I'm going but all my points of reference are either gone or have changed completely.

Everything feels like the first day at a new school where everyone knows how things work and where everything is, but you are however rather clueless!

Tonight is the 27 dinner and it is going to be interesting. Talk about 1st day at school syndrome... 100 odd people, many of whom will know each other on some level- and then there's gonna be me- propping up the bar...hehe. Chances are I'm going to be a bit late too... (having to organise to borrow cars)

In SA... the beginning

With great anticipation I jumped into the cab at 3pm on Friday to catch my flight to SA.

Upon arriving at Heathrow I was told that I couldn't check-in for another 40min... what a pain, having to hang around lugging my bags around and then queuing.
Once I was checked-in I made my way to security where I was confronted by a monster queue, and then had a good giggle for about 20min as I watched people trying to jump the queue. Airports really are the most stressful places, and I'm sure the arseholes in the airport are really good people in a different environment.
Once through the security and feeling like I had only narrowly managing to escape a rectal search, I made my way to the bar and started throwing back the lagers. In between trips to the smoking section there was a security scare and the cops arrived and closed down part of the terminal. During the moment of heightened stress all I could think about was this is going to make a great blog post if something happens...nothing did.

Got onto the packed plane en route to Madrid (delayed by 90mins) full of school kids making a noise. Iberia's planes are straight out of the 70's with a single tv over the centre seating section, and not interested in watching the in-flight safety video I got my PSP out for a couple hands of poker. Instead of blocking the noise of rowdy kids it only served to arouse their interest in me as now they wanted to know what I was playing and if I wanted to link a game with them. The thought of losing a game of poker to a bunch of 9yr-olds didn't appeal to me so I put it away and jammed the ipod at pretty much full volume- to the disgust of the women sitting next to me.

Arrived in Madrid and rushed to my departure gate as the delay meant I didn't have time to mess around. To my delight this is where I ditched the kids, however the next flight was just as full and uncomfortable. The movie on this flight was Dreamgirls and the thought of spending 2hrs bending my neck to get a good look at the screen didn't appeal so I attempted to catch a nap. I would doze off and then wake up thinking I'd managed a good hour of rest only to find the movie was still on. I repeated this about 5 times, and even had to call the hostess over to make sure that they weren't just repeating the film. So all in all I managed just over an hour's kip and about 2000 hands of poker.

Was greeted by my family at the airport and made my way to their new home. Really weird arriving home and then going to a new house. The shower was a welcome relief and I followed this up with quite a few ice cold Castles. Then watched my Sharks play some awful rugby, and the Aussies rack up a huge total. A mate came over a piked me up to go off to a 'Proudly South African' themed party which I thought was really appropriate for my first night. Many beers were had watching us unfortunately lose the cricket. From here my mate and I suddenly got the feeling that we needed to keep up the party momentum before our 07h07 tee off at Royal, so we ended up at Manhattans in Rivonia. I had been there before when I came over last year- and no, it hasn't improved. I did manage to inhale plenty of vodka's and redbull to keep me going and during one 'best dancer ever' moment tried a John Travolta like slide on the knees. I didn't quite manage to pull it off instead I only managed to end up on my stomach in the middle of the dance floor- not what I would call graceful. At the time I didn't realise it, but I have grazed both my knees and it is rather painful.

After the 'club' my mate and I had about an hour to kill before tee off so went to another mates house where of course we fell asleep and were late to golf- much to the disgust of the rest of the 4-ball. I have no recollection of the 1st 9 holes, but looking at the score card afterwards I now know it was not worth remembering. The 2nd 9 saw a noticeable improvement.

So after 48hrs I had managed just over 2 hours sleep, probably too much booze, but a lot of fun.

Embracing the nothingness.

It's a wonderful feeling when you realise that you are quite happy having nothing to do. This is not to be confused with not having any ambition or motivation.

I am now officially on holiday, or at least my body has realised that it doesn't need to operate at normal levels. I'm not sleeping in, in the mornings but I am enjoying a daily guilt-free nap around lunchtime.

There is a pleasant emptiness in my head, and whilst this does seem to stunt my creativity, it is very relaxing.

Wake up, check email, read feeds, watch cricket, nap, watch cricket, sleep.

The dull thump thump noise

It is the sound of my own heartbeat as I lie in bed trying to recall the events of yesterday. Thump thump thump. What on earth am I sleeping on?- oh, that's where the remote is.

St Paddy's day was, I suppose, a success. Not hard to be successful when the goal is only to drink copious amounts.

I fly in a week.

Finally! My new internet connection is up an running.

This past week has been a royal pain in the arse and I know I have missed out on plenty of things. This morning I have trying to get through my feed reader but with over 400 posts to get through it is proving to be a little tiresome and many posts aren't getting my full attention.

I've been trying to get my head around why the SA Blog awards have proven to be such a hoohaa. WTF- calm done folks.
Caught up on two episodes of Amplitude, and I continue to enjoy their content.
Haven't been able to submit to muti, and now it'll take at least a week to familiarise myself with whats topical at the moment especially since the KuduRace has been started- I want that T-shirt!

No internet connection has meant that I haven't been able to look after my start-up properly and it has been a real stumbling block as we are soooo close to alpha launch and I haven't been able to play around. >:(

On a personal note I've felt like a real arsehole recently. Not exactly sure why I think that, (serious self-loathing going on), but I think I'm over it and slowly I'm regaining my god-complex. LOL. Just in time for my trip home, yeah boy! I think I've been feeling like a prick because I've been suffering from withdrawal due to lack of internet access. - problem solved!

Now I'm counting the days to SA, I fly in a week. Not looking forward to the flight, London-Madrid-Jo'burg (15hrs) on Iberia- should be...'interesting'. Might have to invest in a new game for my PSP to keep me occupied.

Thoughts/Ideas for networking events

In my (admittedly short) professional capacity I attend a fair bit of networking events, and from this experience have developed a feel for what makes a good event for me.

That being said I’ve given it some thought and jotted down some things that I think need to be considered when planning an event.

Analyze the audience:

Does you audience know each other? Do they operate in the same field? Are they competitors? Do they offer each other complimentary services? If you are able to answer these questions then it makes your life a lot easier when creating an environment which is conducive to networking. It is for this reason that when I register for events these days I am presented with a questionnaire so the organizers can cater for my ‘requirements’. It also allows them to capture the data, which in all fairness I am happy to relinquish if it means I end up having a more successful time.

Name tags:

I am a firm believer of name tags. So much so that I have been known to make my own when getting to events where they don’t have any, (in this instance it proved to be a real hit and everyone at the event came up to me and commented about it, talk about an icebreaker).

I like to think that I am gifted in remembering people’s names, but not everyone is like this. When you meet 30 new names and faces in the space of an hour it can be rather chaotic later in the night when to speak to the same person and for the life of you, you can’t remember their name, or even worse get confused and call them something else.

So name tags are essential. They are however very boring, and these days a sticky label just doesn’t cut it. I have been attending the MiniBar meetings in London recently where they give you a choice of tags with which to tag yourself. So when getting there I tag myself, ‘Start-up’, ‘User generated’, ‘non-tech’, a while a VC I have come to know tags himself, ‘Investor’, ‘Seeking’. This is a great way of differentiating the people you are interested in talking to, from the ones you aren’t.

Some ideas for name tags I’ve seen/thought of:

DIY tags- Provide guests with material to do their own name tags and be creative.

Signs- Why mess around with tiny name badges. Make signs which people hang around their necks.

T-shirts- Plain cheap shirts and a black marker pen, guests decorate themselves and when meeting others can use them for noting information.

Mystery tags- Each tag describes an individual and are handed out randomly and the audience are encouraged to find the correct owner.

Audience interaction:

I know my ideas for name tags can be a little ‘out there’, but their intention for me is to promote audience interaction. At many events there are always those people who will stick to there own crowd (it’s safe), those without a crowd (often where I find myself), and those people who seem to know everyone. For me the best events are those which shift people out of their comfort zones just enough that it doesn’t spoil their evening but encourages them to interact with others. I’ve been to events where they’ve had a ‘speed meeting’ concept (imagine speed dating without the giggly girls who’ve had too much wine).

Organizers need to bear in mind that not everyone is naturally outgoing, and as much as this seems like a no-brainer it is not often that I go to events that are geared towards interaction. You have to encourage people to meet each other, and make it easy for them to do so.

Here are my thoughts on creating a mingling atmosphere:

Ensure there is lots of space available for people to mingle, if it’s hard to move around people won’t.

I personally don’t think dinner is a great idea as it stops people speaking and makes them sit still, snacks are a better option.

No waiters! Create ‘water cooler’ areas where people are forced to congregate, (food table; bar; etc).

Get extra staff behind the bar so people don’t miss out on conversation by having to queue. This will encourage people to drink more, and enables people to offer to buy drinks for each other.

Keep the music neutral, upbeat, and carefully monitor the volume. There must be always be a constant level of noise, I like to think of it as ‘gross noise’. As the crowd starts to get louder you can decrease the music, people don’t want to shout at each other nor do they want to feel like everyone is listening to them.

What are your thoughts?

10 days!

Arrrgh! I hate not having inernet access at home. I'm now rationing myself to 1hr at the internet cafe everyday, otherwise I'll end up putting a serious dent into my SA spending fund! What makes things worse is the fact that the new modem has arrived, but our line has not been cleared yet. So I have the hardware for my new 16mb, uncapped, wireless internet, all for the beautiful sum of £10/month... but the fecking thing can't work until the line has been activated. Flick the damn switch already!

I've got a great idea for a post brewing in my head but can't actualise it sitting in an overheated internet cafe. However I can tell you it involves my experience in networking at events, and some funny thoughts on meeting people at the 27 dinner later this month.

So in 10 days time I will landing in SA- sweet! Until then my time is probably going to be spent between the gym, and chilling on the couch. The weather over here is finally starting to improve, the sun is out but it's still a little chilly. Spent an hour or two the other day chilling outside reading a book in between watching rugby games, what a pleasure. Fortunately the cricket will allow me to spend hours in front of the tv with a good excuse.

IOU- 1x 5 things...

Right, I've managed to free up 5 minutes in my super hectic schedule to run down to the uber dodgy internet cafe to check mails, etc... so while I'm here I might as well fulfill my tag from Nic.

5 Things you might not now about TheColony (aka Grant/Squirrel/Siddy):

1.) I hate jargon! The fact that jargon is invented to try and aid communication is counter-intuitive. All jargon achieves in doing is to make clever people think they are stupid, and visa versa. (There is obviously more to this arguement, but this is the punchline.)

2.) I think it is genetically impossible for me to get a tan! (I fit in, in the UK)

3.) I was academically excluded (kicked out) of my first year of university. However in a Rocky-like comeback I got a Bcom (Marketing & Management). Please note how I wrote those with capitals to make myself feel important. lol

4.) I used to be a real poser (Went to the right places, knew the right people, used to shake a lot of hands.) Now I am most comfortable drinking a beer with mates at the local pub.

5.) After a couple drinks while out at a night spot where dancing is encouraged, I am able to convince myself that I am 'easily' the best dancer there. So much so in fact, that it's because of my slick, effortless moves that everyone is looking at me- especially the ladies, who undoubtedly are all queuing up to talk to me. Please take note of the thick sarcasm here, I don't dance any better than anyone else, and I can't sing for that matter either- but that's never stopped me.

Now I know I'm supposed to tag 5 people! Poo- this meme has being going forever. So how about this, if you're reading this and want to be tagged, drop a comment.

In other news, I have resigned from my job and I'm off work till I get back from SA. (Speaking of which- 13days till SA)

Warning! This post is littered with generalisations about women.

Why is it that it always feels kak when an ex finds someone new? I've had my fair share of ex-girlfriends, and every time after we have broken up, it always feels like you've been kicked in the nuts when you hear/find out/are told that they are seeing someone else. To put this into perspective I'm talking about the times when you get dumped, I'm talking about the friendly break-ups when for some reason or another you just part ways and continue being mates.

Pondering on this subject over a couple whiskeys last night I managed to gain some insight into the chaos of the male mind in this situation. The hypothesis I have developed is centered on the assumption that men are basic beings fueled by a primeval need to own and not share. Whether we are actually using something is irrelevant, the fact is that it is ours. It is only through our upbringing and being disciplined if we don't share, that we develop the social skill of sharing.

However this training during childhood doesn't carry through when women are the subject, and as any female reading this post will be glad to hear, women are not assets. Not any more at least. It is only the modern women that has been liberated of the 'price tag' around their neck, and on many levels I believe that men are having a hard time adjusting. The only bonus is that men are blessed with a certain amount of logic which enables them to identify that their thinking/feelings have no place in modern society. So men are able to act sensibly, however deep down it still doesn't sit well.

In defense of my sex I need to point out that this need of ownership does have positive side effects, and along with possession, men feel the need to protect what is theirs. So ladies, if you can get over the fact that you are 'owned', at least you'll be looked after. (Oooh, I can see that last statement getting me into trouble. "Why do women have to be owned to be looked after- Grant you Neanderthal!!!")

It's obvious that this post has been prompted by an ex informing me she had someone new in her life, and despite the fact that I have done well in trying to get past the fact that we can't be together, it still took the wind out of me. This was of course inevitable, and my logical brain is shouting at me saying, "Dude! What did you expect?"

Fortunately a couple whiskeys and a personal pep talk got me thinking and analyzing resulting in my guess work above. It has hopefully gone a long way to straightening me out.

The loneliness of offline.

There has been a bit of a break from my daily posts as firstly I have been busy with work related stuff, and secondly I don't have any access of home at the moment because we are busy switching suppliers. It's insane how much my life depends on being able to get online. I'm not a blogging addict and I can live with not blogging for a bit, but it's the day to day stuff that kills me. Eg:

Going out on Friday, I need to know how to get somewhere, can't do as the address is on my Facebook account, and even if I get the address off someone I can't find the directions online. (Frantic run around the house trying to find my old London A-Z.) No internet access also means I can't use internet banking, prompting me to phone in (not as bad as it seems but still not as convenient.) With all the sport this weekend I wasn't able to place any bets, or check any scores of games I had missed, but I'll write more about sport in a minute. No access also means no skype, MSN, and general perusing. What a pain, I really have felt 'naked'.

So onto the sport. All I can say is what an amazing Saturday! If I were a Liverpool and/or Crusaders supporter I would be spitting! However I am a Man Utd and Sharks fan. I sat through a very uninspiring football match, watching my team play some atrocious football, only for them to sneak in a cheeky goal at the death to win the game,- sweet! This was shortly followed by the Sharks pulling the rabbit out of the hat and capitalizing on what I can only say was insane play by the Crusaders. The game was over, and all the Crusaders had to do was kick the ball out. Full credit (in my opinion) has to go to the ref who played the advantage rule to perfect in the dying moments of the game, resulting in the Sharks scoring the try opening up the conversion attempt to secure victory. Up steps Ruan Pienaar ,the Sharks second choice kicker, to slot the ball over from the touchline- talk about big match temperament. So Man Utd are looking strong to win the championship, and the Sharks remain the only unbeaten side in the Super 14. I am chuffed! Here's a very grainy highlights package of the Super 14 games.


In closing: 19 days boys and girls, 19 days!

In Flux

What a conundrum my life is at the moment. On the one hand I desperately feel the need for stimulation (get your minds out of the gutter!), and on the other all I feel like doing is relaxing and not having to think about anything.

As the title to this post suggests I'm caught in a period where there really isn't anything significant happening, and because of this I am bored. The boredom makes me over analyze everything which in turn raises my stress levels. The funny thing is that it's not like I'm not busy at the moment. The development of TopOf is frantic, however the stage we're at is a very frustrating one. We are just about to have it completed and let it loose on the world, but we keep hitting obstacles which is really starting to piss me off. We're struggling to maintain momentum, and it feels like the day before Christmas only to find that Christmas has been postponed for a week!

All in all I think it's safe to say that I'm not having fun at the moment, which is disappointing.

I think I need a distraction, maybe a girlfriend. However I was having this conversation with a mate the other night...
... You really don't want to have a girlfriend during summer in the UK. (Not a new girlfriend at least.) There is so much you can do during the summer and you really need some flexibility...oh... and girlfriends can cost a fortune, and there is no shortage of things to pay for. (Disclaimer: Please note how I used 'can' cost a fortune, thereby implying that it is not a rule that girlfriends 'do' carry an intrinsic increase in expenditure.)- Shoo! Narrow escape from female friends giving me a talking to!

In fact, while taking a short break while writing this post I have found the answer to my prayers.
Mark Forrester posted this video on his blog. Watch it till the end...

I rename Tequila...

...Satan's Sweat!

Note to self: If you insist on drinking tequila, which you know does nasty things to you, don't drink it on a Thursday!

Last night I was chuffed to meet up with an old mate whom I got back in touch with thanks to FaceBook. The Foster's flowed as did the conversation, and I ended up having a Tequila! 1x tequila. It really doesn't agree with me, but fortunately I was able to...ah... keeps things under control ;) I really do feel like I'm allergic to tequila, it's the only thing that immediately makes me feel ill after just one.

I am now sitting at work feeling less than great, and I'm dreading the thought of spending the next couple hours watching the minutes count down before I can start my weekend. Not that I have anything super exciting planned. At the moment I'm having to be quite boring and all the exciting news which I have to talk about is not safe to blog about. (You never know who's reading.)

Fortunately the Sharks aren't playing this weekend, and I say fortunately because Sky's coverage is back to being almost non existent, so at least I won't have to bear the thought of not getting to watch my boys play. I'll just have to be content with watch the Lions- yawn! I can however see that it's going to be another boring weekend, all my mates seem to be preoccupied with issues, studying, other halves, etc. How dare they live their own lives, and not fulfill their duty of entertaining me- for shame!

Eradicating frustration.

Right...so...

Today is all about getting rid of the frustrations I have at the moment.

I have solved the issues with the web developers, (nothing a bit of cash couldn't fix), and I'm making good progress sorting out the issues with my job. The weather is of course out of my control, and by merely understanding that it is no longer an issue.

I have become hooked on FaceBook and it is proving to be an excellent distraction. Already I have managed to make contact with an old mate whom, I knew was is London, but up until now I haven't been able to track down. It has also proven useful in announcing my impending arrival in SA, (in 30 days, yes I'm counting in days), and being able to let people I wouldn't normally bump into know I'll be around. I find the FaceBook like a million times better than MySpace which IMO is utter rubbish. I wouldn't consider them to be like for like services, but for my purposes it solves a lot of problems which MySpace inherently has.


So today is problem solving day... wish me luck!

Arrgh! Feb is kak!

I have mentioned this before but I want to go into a little more detail as to why Feb is by far the most painful month.

1.) It's been six months since you've felt the heat of the sun on your face- you are so over winter.
2.) You've booked a flight to SA, and all you can think of is home but there is over a month to go.
3.) You are undoubtedly broke, or at least tight for cash after the splurge of December which you denied all through Jan, but has hit home in Feb.
4.) Everyone else is feeling the same way, so there is an air of depression floating around.
5.) Nothing cool happens in Feb, all the bands are only playing in March at the earliest.
6.) You are bored of wearing the same clothes but can't justify buying anything new because you'll only get to wear them for a couple weeks at most. And you can't afford them.
7.) Super 14 starts but Sky doesn't show all the games.
8.) The daylight now coincides with when you leave work, which although sounds great means that all the tourists are traveling at the same time as the office commuters. If you don't know where you're going get out of the way, and for heaven's sake stand on the right of the escalators! (This is the typical attitude of a central London commuter.)
9.) You miss your mates.
10.) The best way you can spend you time is making lists of why Feb is kak.

For the readers in the UK, I have tickets to see Damien Rice and Razorlight which I won't be able to use since I'll be in SA. If you keen post a comment and I'll sell them to you for face value.

In company news the developers are trying to pull a move on us. They are trying to bleed us for a couple extra hundred quid for the changes that need to be done. I'm not all that bothered about the money, it's just the principle of it, and the delay it's gonna cause.

33 Days! Chilled Weekend!

33 days till I am back in SA.

I had quite a relaxed weekend. Started Friday with a work function before heading off for probably one too many drinks in Putney whilst watching the Super 14. It finished with the obligatory dodgey fried chicken and falling asleep on the bus, and waking up just it time.

Saturday I was up early to catch the games, and sort myself out with a good breakfast. Then spent the afternoon working on business stuff, before watching Man Utd make their lives a little harder. It was then time for the main event- my beloved Sharks! Messy game, but a win is a win, and we went top of the log. Chuffed! (Lewi, in case you didn't get my sms, Castle dumpies when we make the semi's)

Stayed in Saturday night, and woke up really refreshed on Sunday. I got bored really quickly and got on the phone and tried to get hold of every single one of my mates. Guys!!! You have a mobile phone for a reason, if you don't want to be disturbed- switch it off! As you can gather, I couldn't get hold of anyone. Thanks to T and Toddles you did get back me. Shame on the rest of you! LOL- I was super bored, and eventually ended up playing pool with my new housemate in Wimbledon.

Will be spending the rest of this week waiting for payday, and for Feb to eventually end!

Only in Africa

It is thankfully a sunny day in London, which is great because I'm having quite a good day. Why am I having a good day? Well because Sky are going to be showing the Sharks game on Saturday!!! Not only that but it also looks like they'll be showing most of the Super 14 games because there is no 6 Nations on this weekend!
Reminder- have you voted yet! If not ----------->Click on the nominate button......now!

Aaaannnyyyway- a mate of mine sent me a great pic, click to enlarge.

Let the healing begin.

There are a few things in life worth holding onto- no matter what.

Friendship is one of these things, and recently Liesel emailed me something which puts it quite nicely:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Last week I came very close to losing a friend. It made me shit myself, (Not literally of course). However the realisation that much of my anger was caused by knowing that I was losing a friend, has made me more determined to hold onto it. Pain and anger are destructive, and there are no long term gains that can be achieved by allowing yourself to give into them. Love and friendship on the other hand, are what make humans capable of great things. (Whoa! That's some deep shit Grant- has a little chuckle to himself- then chuckles again when realising that I'm speak of myself in the 3rd person)

I have learnt a lot about myself recently. I've learnt that I am capable of feeling intense emotions which literally consume me, I've learnt that, of these emotions, I am not capable of hate. I've learnt that being a good person above all else, is the only way I ever want to spend the rest of my life. I've learnt that one of the best things about friends is when they remind you that they care.

To all my friends:
Thank you, and always know I got your back!

So, the Squirrel is back- a bit battle hardened- but back nonetheless. So a quick recap of my weekend:

Sharks!!!
Proteas!!!
Man United!!!
England??? WTF! Didn't see that coming.
TopOf.co.uk!!! Coming soon!!! Six hour marathon meeting to iron out some faults!
Hangover- Oops I did it again! (Best dancer ever)
Held onto a friend.

Haha! I promise I'll being positive soon.

This may seem a little over the top, and the whole 'Grant is depressed' theme is already getting old. But bear with me, it's not like I'm like this all the time. I'm usually a really shiny happy person!

This song more of a teenage 'nobody understands me' kinda vibe, but I can identify.
Goddamit! I'm 25 and I'm behaving like a 16 yr old! (plunges back into depression! LOL)

My mood in music

Yeah well I never expected today to be easy!

Damien Rice- Rootless Tree (via YouTube)

Saying Goodbye...

I have just had to do something I hope I never have to do ever again...
... I just said goodbye to one of my best mates.

My friend is not going anywhere, and neither am I- but we cannot be friends anymore. I feel sick to my stomach.
I'm not writing this on my blog as an act of vengeance, I am writing it because there are too many things going on in my head and I need a way of expressing them without running out and doing something stupid. Basically I'm trying to not implode.

A friend, a confidant, someone I loved, someone I trusted- has ripped my world apart. This is all the detail you're going to get as to the circumstances that led me to write this. To do otherwise would be hateful, and retaliatory.

My left hand won't stop shaking- is that the hangover or am I so overcome with emotions that I just can't keep it together. Why am I so torn up about this, why can't I fix this, how can I solve this, how do I keep it together, so many questions at once.

I'm not going to cry, crying is for girls- but I want to. I want to scream bloody murder, and inflict damage on anything- but I won't. Hate doesn't make things better, but it sure is powerful. Why am I so fragile? This is what you get for wearing your heart on your sleeve. Nice guys may not actually finish last, but I know they take a beating on the way!

Why is it that depressing music is the only thing that seems to make sense when you are where I am right now? Surely it would make more sense to listen to happy stuff- but that just makes me want to vomit. I think the music helps to make you think that you're not alone in this. It manifests your emotions into something tangible. It does for me at least.



What do you do when you come to the realization that you have to walk away from something that all you want to do is hold onto? How can something that used to drive you to be a better person, suddenly make you ask-"What's the point?"Someone you cared for, someone you would do anything for, someone you felt confident being yourself around, someone you wanted to be happy, someone you wanted to make happy. A friend.

How do you justify saying goodbye to that? Not in a hurry that's for sure, and anything from easily. How do you convince yourself that you are doing the right thing? How do you look into their eyes and no longer see what you did before? What have those feelings been replaced with? You're beyond anger, beyond disappointment, beyond revenge, beyond pity.

Am I a victim?-yes. Does it make me feel better knowing that I did nothing to cause this?-No.
Am I blowing this out of proportion?-Probably- but knowing that doesn't help either.

What do I do tomorrow?
I will put on a brave face, I will suck it up, I will confidently smile and greet everyone I see. I will not snap at anyone, because they don't know what I'm going through- they don't care, and they shouldn't have to. I will remember this feeling, and use it. I will not use it as an excuse. I will talk to people who want to listen, I will not gossip. I will identify my pain and accept it. I will avoid alcohol. I will understand that it's okay to feel like you've been hit by a ten ton truck square in the nuts, but like it or not I will understand that everything happens for a reason. Despite my current mood, I will know I have a lot of happiness to look forward to, it's just I little harder to see at the moment.

Goodbye my friend.

South Africa Rocks!

Nic Haralambous has started a new blog dedicated to telling people the good news about South Africa. SARocks.co.za

From his intro:
"This blog is dedicated to telling the world how amazing South Africa is. The people, the pastimes, the places and everything else. I am not saying our country is perfect, no country is, but I am saying that there is a lot more good in SA than people like to admit."

Go check it out, and contribute your rocking SA content. It's about time we remind ourselves and others just how awesome a country South Africa is. We're not ignoring the issues, but we are staying positive!

Why February is the worst month in the UK for me.

I haven't even got through the first day of Feb and already I have been reminded of why Feb is such a kak month for me.
It's not even the shite weather that gets to me. I can handle that and there are things I can do to solve that problem.

The Number 1 reason I hate Feb is because the Super 14 starts! I love the Super 14!!!...

...but... neither Sky nor the BBC show ALL the games. So this weekend when my mighty Sharks hand the Bulls a carrot- I will be sitting at home watching a score ticker on SArugby.com, because they're not showing the game. Instead the almighty Sky (who I pay £42/month for the pleasure)
are showing... wait for it... UIM powerboat racing and football scores (same show on two channels)!

This happens every year!!!

I have hopefully found a solution though. I'm gonna buy a SlingBox and take it back to SA when I go back over Easter. I'm then going to stream the games to my home PC which I'll hook up to my LCD, and presto!Problem solved!
There are only two problems I can forsee. 1.) The slingbox might not like like Dstv 2.) Upstream speeds in SA using iBurst are only up to 345kbps. That's the max and Slingbox recommends a min of 300kbps, so the picture could be kak, but in all honesty I'd learn to live with it.

If anyone reading this has had any experience using a SlingBox in SA or knows of an alternative please drop a comment- I'm desperate. Like 'toaster in the bath' desperate.

Why would you need an iPod in South Africa?

I really have been giving this some thought recently. I really cannot think of too many instances where in South Africa I would be wishing I had my iPod with me. So far the only time I can think it would be beneficial is when you are waiting in line at anything that is government run, which isn't exactly every day. Even then, do I really need an iPod, or would any old mp3 player do? My cellphone has an mp3 player-sorted!

So why do I keep hearing that the iPod craze is alive and well in SA? Just to be clear, I do own an iPod, and everyday I find new ways to justify the expense. Walking to my train, waiting for my train, on the train, waiting for my tube, on the tube, walking to work. This is every single day, so on average I will listen to a minimum of 2 hours of music per working day (if the transport runs properly.)

Now in SA, on a typical day I would get into my car listen to the radio/cd/mp3 player in my car on the way to work and back.

I understand the 'fad' factor, and that is probably why I got an iPod rather than any other cheaper (and probably better) mp3 player.

I would love some peeps in SA to leave a comment explaining to me, why they have an iPod, or why they think people in SA are getting them? Is it purely the trendy thing to have? If it is the white headphones which scream 'mug me'- then guys I'll bring a container full when I get to SA in a couple months and sell 'em for pile of cash!

MiniBar, Crazy weekend

I started my weekend by attending a web 2.0 get-together called MiniBar, and rather than go into too much detail which won't interest too many of my readers (hi Mom and Dad) you can read more about MiniBar over at TheColonyPerspective.

The beer I received at minibar was the start of a very crazy weekend. After leaving the venue in East London (east of Trafalgar Square not east of Cape Town) I missioned off to Putney where I braved the crowds of Australia day with a couple mates. A particularly large women (I think) draped in an Aussie flag used as a top, proved to be all too 'exciting' for the motley crew I had joined and we changed venues for somewhere a little more civilized. Plenty beer was consumed at Thai Square before eventually putting myself onto a bus at some ungodly hour attempting to get home without falling asleep. I would have failed in this mission had it not been for the bus driver making a hard left turn which caused me to fall off my seat and well and truly wake me up as the roars of laughter from the people sitting behind me turned me bright red.

Saturday morning left me rather fragile as was to be expected, but could not deter me from meeting my business partners for a 5 hour marathon brain-storming session. Whilst keeping an eye on the cricket, we bounced ideas back an forth, and the whole experience just serves to motivate me more and more. Of course the beers helped the creative juices and it was not long before I was rushing home for quick shower and a change before heading out for the night.

I met the boys out for what was supposed to be chilled drinks in Wimbledon Village, but ended up at Zulu's disco dancing my ass off drinking SnakeBites by the pitcher. The music stopped at about 2am, and we were not in the mood to go gently into the night- and so hopped into a cab destined for a mate of Sean's house where we got some more liquor/cigarettes/pizza delivered and drank through the night. My evening finished with me walking in my door around 6:30am, knowing that I was staring a write-off of a day in the face! Crazy stuff, but no major regrets.

59 days! Clear your schedules, dust off your dancing shoes...

....the Squirrel is coming to Jo'burg!!!

That's right, I have just booked my trip home to SA. I arrive on Sat 24th in the morning and will be there for just over 2 weeks! Be afraid, be very afraid!

So for those of you who work! (Having a dig at my sister here ;)) You need to make sure that you don't have too much important planned, because I have every intention of coaxing you out most evenings! Mwoohaha.

I can taste the Castle already. Feel the heat beating down on my shoulders, as I strike an enormous drive down the middle of the fairway. Sitting on the couch debating life with my mother. Telling my father his football team is kak, and his tv is average. Watching the Sharks! The pepper steak pies, biltong by the kg not the the mg. Tap water that actually tastes good. Laughing at pretentious people in Sandton as they order expensive whiskey without knowing the difference. Talking shit with my mates and the subject of salaries not coming up. Speaking to people about my business ventures, without getting that glazed look over their eyes as I try to explain e-commerce. Yes- I am looking forward to it!

My Mopey Monday success story!

So I wake up this morning and get that little feeling of dread you feel when you realise that it's Monday. I then get told by the BBC that today is the most depressing day of the year in the UK. (Apparently more people call in sick or commit suicide today, than any other day of the year), they also inform me it's going to be fecking cold... what a great start to the day!

Work is quite uneventful so I'm able to read the various news websites, only to find that all they insist on doing is reminding me that Man Utd failed to capitalize on Chelsea's defeat. I then get a phone call from one of my biggest clients informing me that they wish to 'pause' there activity due to non-performance. This is something I have no control over, however I am expected to magically solve it. The day is really going well!!!

To add to my misery I have no idea what to blog about, and writing an entire post on how the world seems to fart in my direction at the moment doesn't seem to appealling. Until I Stumbled upon this recorded call from a telemarketer (it's a big file so give it time if you're still being exploited by Telkom)

When I first came to the UK I worked as a telemarketer and it was easily the worst job- ever. However I can sooo identify with the telemarketer AND the guy playing the prank. I have now pissed myself laughing for a solid 5 minutes and it's made me remember that my job is not THAT bad!

Happy Monday everyone and remember- it wouldn't be called 'work' if it was fun all the time.

Mopey Monday

You know it's not gonna be your day, when it starts with you falling down the stairs spraining your thumb and getting a nasty bruise on your ass. Having decided not to go into work, I then watched the Proteas thump India thus meaning that I had absolutely no entertainment for the rest of the day. So there I am feeling aweful, now battered and bruised with nothing to do.

I thought this wouldn't be a problem and I could just spend the day getting myself back to feeling my best and in between write updates for all my blogs. It's now 6:30 and all I have been able to muster is this rather uninpsired post. Sorry guys.

The reason for this is that for some reason my sudden illness has caused me to struggle to focus on anything resembling a screen. I really hope my eyes aren't giving me problems. At least I now have BUPA coverage and won't have to use the NHS.

I did have a good weekend though, going to a mates leaving drinks on Friday, and then playing poker on Saturday. Good poker session which eventually ending in a tie between myself and another mate. £10 entry and split the winnings, so walked away with £35- schweet!

Houses- Old and New

Today my parents are moving out of the house I have lived in most of my life. Barring a few months after birth, a year when I was in Grahamstown, and the past 3 years in the UK, it was where I lived, and until today was home.

It is a really strange feeling, because however sad it makes me, I always knew it would happen. Being in the UK also gives me the distance to not have to get emotional about it. I can easily just sit back and say "life goes on" it's a natural progression. I suppose the reality will hit home (excuse the pun) when I go back to SA for my annual visit, and realize that that place is not my home it is just a house.
That being said I will miss it, and treasure the memories of my childhood. (little chuckle at myself for writing such a cheesy line and then trying to justify it to myself afterwards)

On my current house front, the spot where I live and share with two mates is causing me some frustration but not without a touch of humor.
Having returned from my jolly in Dubbo's, I was confronted by my poor little house looking a little worse for wear. After xmas I had left it in a 'vaguely' acceptable state, but for some reason the braai had not magically cleaned itself, and the borrowed tables had not walked themselves home. Damn!
Our garden fence has decided it is tired of standing in the wind and a portion of it has collapsed. This would not normally be a major issue (nothing a few panels of wood and a couple nails can't fix), however it is firstly freezing outside, and when I get home from work it is super duper pitch black dark. My female house mate is ill and in no position to be running around outside, so I am left to do it myself.

This is not a winning formula, me (tired after work) + Darkness (lots of it) + Big fence (being held only by me) + Nails (big and sharp) + Hammer (inflicter of pain) = A lot of F'ing and Blinding.

What I wouldn't give for (insert name of South African 'servant') to be in the UK.

Merry Christmas

It's a bit late, but hey!

I am currently the only person in the office, what a laugh. I'm sucking back the lemsip trying to shake the cold I've picked up from too much booze, smoking and late nights, before heading off to Dublin first thing tomorrow morning.

Christmas was good. I had a fondue party at my house on Christmas eve which was hilarious. It was originally planned for a mates house, but was moved to my house when more people decided to join in and we needed more space. I've got a bit of video footage of the evening but I'm struggling to get the sound right so will have to post it at a later stage. The highlights being watching a mate eating 5 pieces of fruit covered in chocolate in one go, and me sightly pissed recording myself opening presents all by myself- ag shame!

Christmas day I went to a mates house for an excellent meal, but even at that stage my poor body was taking strain.

Went for a walk around town last night to catch the Christmas lights which were pretty cool, but otherwise it has been a relaxed period. It's these times of year that really make living away from home tough.

Apart from that you can expect much hilarity when i return from Dublin where I'm sure i'll manage to get myself into some tricky situations!

Happy New Year everyone.

Best dancer- ever...doh!!!

Yip, I did it again. Company Christmas party (yes another one), and I was once again convinced I was the best dancer in the nightclub. Is there not a pill I can take or a patch I can wear that will inhibit this compulsion?
Last night the horrendous Justin Timberlake/Michael Jackson/MC Hammer combination was the style of choice, and I distinctly remember contemplating both break dancing and crowd surfing. Thankfully neither of these two options occurred.

It's all about cause and effect. Cause = Sambuca (x3) Effect = Best dancer ever!

Fortunately everyone else in the office was also drinking the liquorish devil juice so I was in good company. So this morning not only is the fog still thick in London (hope it clears for Dublin), there is also a very thick hangover mist in the office. A team trip to the greasy spoon for a full breakfast was a pleasant start to the day, and luckily Rob woke me up this morning otherwise I would probably still be asleep.

Abolish Affirmative Action for young people?

I have just read and article on IOL, which spoke about a a group called Solidarity Youth who released 1000 balloons from a hill overlooking Freedom Park in Pretoria. Apart from the misrepresentation caused by the title of the article, I have a few thoughts on the topic...

...The Solidarity Youth are campaigning for the students who finish school in 2006 to be exempt of affirmative action, because their entire school career has been post-apartheid. WTF!!! Do these people not understand why affirmative action is in place? Do they not understand that AA is not a short term process? Here's a quote I love:

"They should not be disadvantaged on the grounds of affirmative action. This is a generation free from the apartheid past."

Bullshit!

Who paid for these kids to go to school- their parents- who benefited from the apartheid regime in one way or another. Whether their parents agreed with apartheid or not, the fact that these kids could go to school was because of the privileges their parents got.

Another pearler, "By imposing affirmative action on them on the grounds of the so-called wrongs of the past violates their human dignity, since they are being accused of something in which they played no part,"

firstly- 'so-called wrongs' I think is pretty clear that is was wrong full stop!!!! and once again- Bullshit!

Affirmative action is not an accusatory process, it assigns no blame. The process is there to restore balance. Children should be aware of our country's past and the reasons why these processes are in place.

I am a 25 year-old, White, Male, from a privileged background. I am at the bottom of the pile in terms of affirmative action, just above dead people. My parents never supported the Apartheid government, and I was 13 when it finally ended. The school I went to had been open to black kids for 2 years prior this. As a 13 year-old boy I had not played any part in the apartheid era, in fact I barely had any comprehension of it's existence. However I sit and blog about how I support affirmative action, when there is absolutely no short-term gain to me! Why?

I support affirmative action because I believe, if managed properly, it will result in a social upliftment which will bring South Africa in line with any developed nation.

The day a miners son is able to become a doctor/lawyer/artist, instead of being doomed to a life of mediocrity by virtue of his circumstances, is the day equal opportunity processes should cease. I'm not talking about Plato's 'ideal state' here, I'm talking about giving everybody an opportunity.

Anyone who says that they 'cannot' get a job because of affirmative action really needs to get their head checked. There are lots of jobs, it's just that they are not the jobs you want. Boohoo!

If you are really passionate about what you do, if you are really good at what you do, if you know everything there is to know about what you do, then there is absolutely no way that an employer would not make a plan to employ you. If by some small chance you meet all of the criteria above, then why the hell are you working for someone else in the first place- you should be working for yourself (The government actually gives money out for this regardless of race- it's just really really really hard to get it).

The cream always rises to the top!
The trick- is to differentiate yourself.

I'm bored of ranting on this topic... I'll try and construct a proper conclusion to my argument another time, but for now- you get the point!

Woohoo- I rock!

It's official I have been named Time magazines Person of the year 2006.

Well that's not entirely true, but I enjoyed the brief ego trip! Basically anyone who have contributed to the internet, in any form, is included. So whether you write a blog, upload videos, or even have a myspace account (damn you evil myspace)- then you're a winner!

Now that I've written this I see the genius in this little ploy. Almost every blogger in the world will be writing a similar post. It's already in every newspaper, and now it will be spread across the interweb using that most trusted medium 'word of mouth'- PR genius!

P.S.- Quick start-up update: The first draft of the homepage was shown to me over the weekend, I really like the colour scheme- it's very loud and different. There were a few things that needed changing, but on the whole a good first step. This reminds me- I must remember that I am going to have to pay for this!

Half full vs half empty- Solved!

I am sick and tired of this analogy being thrown around by pseudo psychologists, in a vein attempt to discover a persons outward perspective. I have now decided to, once and for all, put this to bed, and thus remove it from said psycho's vocabulary.

It has nothing to do with someone's perspective whether they answer half full or half empty, it has to do with the person's interaction with the glass. If you are filling up a glass, then, when it is at half way-it is half full. Conversely if someone is emptying a glass, at the halfway point- it is half empty.

Possible arguments to this statement could include: "What if you happen upon a glass whose contents are at the halfway mark? In this case the person has not interacted with the glass so what is it, half full or half empty?"

The answer to this rebuttal is- what is it that the person intends to 'do' (interact) to the glass. If the person intends to empty the glass, then it is half empty, and the logic follows...

Following on from this it could be asked "what if the person has no intention of interacting with the glass, then what is it?"

Simple- it is merely a glass with contents at the half way mark, and if the person does not nor intends not to interact with it, then it is completely inconsequential to that persons existence and does not warrant further investigation.

What can we learn from this argument?

Life should always be seen as a positive (half full when filling, half empty when emptying, either way you halfway to your goal). If you come across a situation, and you don't have any positive impact on it, don't get involved- it's none of your business!

Ice-skating,Bok treble, and a Sky disaster.

Happy Monday everyone! 3 weeks to Christmas, and almost more importantly three and half weeks to Dublin!

I had quite a relaxing weekend, which started with some very subdued drinks after work on Friday. I discovered that a mate of mine from my Rhodes days is in London, and so I'm really chuffed that I'll get to see him again after 3 years. (Zimbo's are tough to track down.)

Saturday was really good as Rob had got tickets to go ice-skating at the natural history museum. I distinctly remember being a lot better on the ice than I was on saturday. I spent most of the hour long session slowly negotiating corners and avoiding little kids' fingers. Remembering the advice dished out to us as children, "when you fall make a fist so your fingers don't get cut off!". Now honestly, I've been ice-skating a few times over the years and I have never seen anyone come close to having there fingers cut off! Better advise is probably to put your hands out when you fall, as failing to do so results in you hitting your head on the ice. This was demonstrated by some poor guy on Saturday who while obviously trying not to let his fingers get hacked off, dropped his shoulder into the ice and managed to cut his eye open- ouch!

I watched the ashes until about 3:30am Sunday, before catching a kip, and when I got up to switch the cricket on I was confronted by a horrible site. "No satellite signal being received"
The night before we had some serious gale force winds and they had obviously knocked the dish out of place. A 45min call to Sky confirmed this and because we are 20 days out of warranty (Murphy's), it'll cost us £65 to get an engineer out on Thursday!!! So off to the Walkabout I went to catch the Proteas dish out some punishment to the Indians. Followed by a solid Bok win over a very average World XV. Note: If Francois Steyn can learn to keep those massive punts infield, he'll scare a lot of opposition in whatever position he plays.

Oh, and the bok 7's won the opening event in Dubai. Coming from behind against the Kiwi's, good work chaps!

So I start another week, counting the days to New Year.

P.S. My web start-up is starting to get built on Wednesday, expect to hear lots more on this topic in the future.

oooh, it's getting chilly.

Horay for Friday! For those of you who are reading this from in the UK, you'll know what I'm talking about. Yes- that's right ladies and gents, winter is coming (if it's not already here). Wet and grey, oh, and cold too. I'm not going to comment on the cold too much because it going to get way colder, and so there's no really point starting to complain just yet.

I think I'm better prepared this year for the winter. I've gone and invested in a good knee length coat, which makes me look quite dapper if I do say so myself. Also broke down and got an ipod yesterday- probably the most vital toy a Londoner needs. This one replaces the one I lost/dropped/was relieved of by thieving bastards last year. So far the heating in the house is performing a lot more consistently than last year- touch wood!

All in all, I think I'll survive the next 4 months (please let it only be 4 months). To everyone in SA enjoying the sun- I fart in your general direction!

Another wonderful weekend.

The Boks win, the Proteas win, Man Utd stay 3 points clear! I am a very happy supporter. The only real setback is that all this fun has taken its' toll on my body. I really should know by now that drinking on an empty stomach is not a good idea. I spent the whole of Sunday man-down on the couch- fortunately there was lots of tv to watch.

Getting into work this morning took every ounce of my energy, as a struggled through the crowds on the trains and tubes. I feel like I've done ten rounds with George Foreman hammering my kidneys. Self inflicted wounds, and my policy of no pain killers for hangovers really does seem silly at times.

The height of this weekends' silliness has got to be the insane move I pulled while out in Putney on Saturday. Having spent the day throwing back rubbish Australian beer, whilst screaming as we trounced the English- I went to a mates farewell/birthday do. Feeling the need for a bit of a disco dance, I left those drinks early to head off to the only 'club' in the area- Fez. A desperately average place with over-priced drinks, but in the state we were in that all didn't seem to be a problem. It was here that I pulled off the ultimate 'wing-man' move.

Knowing my mate had this eye on a particularly lovely lady on the dance floor, I stood back and let him get on with it. At this point another contender entered the play, and tried to muscle in on my mates approaches of the lovely lady. What does Grant do? Too small to try the aggressive route, and it's too loud to try and distract him... only one option seems left to the now desperately pissed Grant. Act like a gay man and hit-on the unsuspecting contender. As I write this now I still don't know why I did it, although it did help to distract the other guy- as I suspect he was equally repulsed by my actions and swiftly went to find his mates so they could beat me up. Hehe!

I managed to get through the evening without a 'gay bashing', and managed to embarrass myself further by thinking that the lovely lady's name was Clora instead of Laura- I blame the noise of venue for this little mishap. The story has a happy ending as my mate got the phone number he was after, and I was congratulated by her friend as being 'a good mate'. Although her friend was also male, and may have been eyeing me out the whole time.

So in conclusion another little note-to-self: Drinking on an empty stomach is bad, and acting like a homosexual has it benefits but is far from recommended and should be seen as a last resort.

P.S. Maybe next time I'll just hit the guy, that way when I wake up feeling like death the next day, I'll have some bruises to show for my efforts!

Thank You- by zefrank

Gutted! (and I need to learn to keep my mouth shut)

What a weekend! Rubbed shoulders with seriously B-grade celebrities on Friday night at the Children in Need charity evening. The free booze contributing to me dropping names left right and centre to a mate who I bumped into on the way home- Grant you idiot, nobody gives a damn if you did meet Jordan and Baby Spice.

Awoke Saturday feeling rather fragile, but was not afraid for a bit of the hair of the dog at 11:30. Got to Twickenham in good time, and thanks to Adey being an O2 customer we managed to get a free beer and pie in the tent.

The atmosphere in the stadium was amazing, and we sat in the new stand. Took great pride in belting out Nkosi Sikeleli at the top of my lungs, only to have my effort dwarfed by God save the Queen. Everyone reading this probably watched the game so I won't give a play by play, but safe to say- Butch you beauty! Pity we lost- but a huge improvement.

Left the game and made our way back to a friends' house warming party, where, thanks once again to the booze, I managed to make a fool out of myself. Note to self- there is no way to come back from calling a girl an elephant, no matter how out of context it is!

So all in all a great weekend, just need to learn that I am not very witty when pissed, and it's probably best to just shut up and nod! -LOL

The power of positive thinking.

Hello peeps,

After the doldrums of the past couple weeks due to various factors, I started this week with a quest to turn around this period of melancholy.

Given the realization that I was in fact going to make it to payday without having to beg/borrow/steal was a great way to start. So when I woke up on Monday morning I decided that it was a day for smiling, and off to work I went. The day past rather effortlessly with no real ups or downs, and I made some strong moves towards building my pipeline at work- so I finished the day with a sense of achievement. So smiling equals good day!

Yesterday started off really badly as the trains were a nightmare and despite leaving home ten minutes early I only managed to get to work an hour late. However every now and then you need to remind yourself that there are just times when things happen which are out of your control. So with a broad smile I arrived at work and laughed about the start of the day. I went for a walk in the rain during my lunch break which helped make me look at things in a different perspective- and I had a little chuckle at myself as I realized that it was a really daft thing to do- but it was 'refreshing'. I finished the day continuing to build my pipeline, and at one stage calling the same person twice in 5 min which, despite the embarrassment, was quite funny.

So this morning started well (this time the underground causing minor issues), I arrived at work and tentatively answered my boss's phone- to discover the caller was in fact someone I had emailed the day before. Having obviously made an impression through the initial email, I subsequently spent 10min chatting to the chap and got him on as a client. All this despite not really knowing how my new organization works! Being in a positive frame of mind I put this down to the fact that I am a naturally gifted salesperson who just exudes 'trust me'. Had another little chuckle to myself as I realized that my boss was about to walk in the door and the first thing I was going to do was drop a fresh new client in front of him. Grant you beauty!

So having gone from Mr Grumpy/Mopey/Rubbish at my new Job/Bored/Broke/Generally all round kak, - with a little positive thinking, a smile and a change in perspective- I'm back to my cocky, confident self. -Who is taking great pleasure flirting with the lady in the canteen, hoping to get free coffee, despite her looking like a brick hit her squarely in the forehead! Haha.

So Jerry's final thought is: Even shit days seem okay when you're smiling!

A wonderful realization!

As many of you will know I am currently the most broke man on the planet. This is proving to be a huge drain on my emotions, and I have spent this weekend feeling very sorry for myself. I have just finished a cigarette outside, whilst knowing that every puff brings me closer to financial destitution when suddenly it dawned on me. I have 13 days till pay day- ouch!

However because of the way my commission from my previous job works I will be getting a very small amount of money paid to me in 8 days! So what seems like a rather trivial amount of money in the grand scheme of things will in fact prove to be a complete life-saver. So it with an overwhelming sense of relief that I felt the need to write this entry, before going to have what I expect to be one of the best night's sleep I have had all month.

I'm gonna do this!

"Breathe Me" - Sia

As with many of the hard times in my life I have managed to find music which reflects my mood and helps me - feel- I suppose. ~ "Breathe Me" by Sia is simply awesome and I can only recommend buying the track.

Not a happy camper

This has really been a shitty week!

The whole leaving work situation was very stressful. The process was relatively uncomplicated however it was still quite emotional as i really enjoyed working for (edit) and the guys there are really great people and good fun to work with.

Yesterday however was by far the most testing day of my time here in the UK. Liesel (my girlfriend for those who don't know), had to return home to Cape Town because her visa ran out. After what has been the most amazing year and four month relationship I had to watch her get on a plane. I had managed to be quite macho about the whole situation until I tried to write her farewell card. After a good dose of Resque Remedy, I decided to get down to writing it which only caused me to collapse into a wobbly pile of mush and tears! It was the drugs I tell you. From then on I was a complete wreck for the rest of the day- but I have to say it was quite good to finally get the feelings out in the open. Fortunately watching Liesel try to get her bags below weight prompted much amusement for the two of us.

The airport was (needless to say) traumatic and as much as I didn't want to go- it was one of those things in life you have to do despite the obvious pain.

So I woke up today in a miserable mood, but luckily I have had mates around all day to watch Europe dish out some pain in the Ryder Cup. The company has helped keep me from slipping into the depths of depression and I plan to do my best to keep myself surrounded with friends.

My plans are to keep myself occupied in the coming weeks with gym (I'm gonna be buff) and organising Home2Rome.

Hopefully as the days go by things will get easier!

I have resigned!

This morning I resigned from job, to pursue another offer made by one of our competitors.

I can easily say this was not easily done. My current employer didn't see it coming and in the run up to the the busy Christmas season the timing is not ideal for them. Unfortunately for them I have been offered a bigger job, with more money, and with the status quo at the current place there is no way they can match the offer.

So all in all this means good things for me, but it was not easy having to tell my boss- whom I respect very much- that I was leaving. Now because I am moving to a competitor there is a better than average chance that I will told to sit out my notice period at home- how rubbish does that sound! Getting paid to 'not' work!

The timing for me is also really good as it means that my notice period will end just before my Home2Rome race, which means I won't have to use any of my leave from my new job.

I'll be able to discuss my movements with more detail at a later date- but for now I thought I'd just make a post while I sit anxiously at my desk waiting to see how things play out.