Chavs

Living in the UK is not all 'strawberries and cream at Wimbledon', 'picnics in Hyde Park', 'high tea at the National Portrait gallery', and 'Saturday matinées in the West End'.
For those of you who are unaware of these people, let me introduce -The Chav

The easiest way to describe a chav to a South African is simply- 'White Trash'. These little buggers range in age from around 10-17, and as the grow up they evolve into yobs, although it is the younger- chav, which should be more feared. Chav girls are easily identified as they will be the 14-yr old walking down the street pushing twins. Everyone I know has a few chav stories, and I have had a few run-ins in my 3 years here.

You learn very quickly that these delinquents are not to be messed with. They hunt in packs and are blissfully aware that as minors they cannot be touched. Yip that's right, you cannot touch them. They are a constant and in fact growing problem across the UK, they are the ASBO generation.

All this however does make for some good comedy:

Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
A. Society.
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Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.
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Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
A. Granny.
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Q. What do you call a chav in a box?
A. Innit .
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Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.
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Q. What do you say to a chav in a suit
A. "Will the defendant please rise"
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Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what
so ever.
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Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
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Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try
not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.
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Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
A. What you looking at.
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Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a
flightof stairs
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Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The policeman!
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Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
A. A start.
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Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?
A. Up the ar*e.
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Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in an Opel Corsa a shame?
A. Because an Opel Corsa has 4 seats.
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Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?
A. Bigmac please.
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Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?
A. A chav girl has a higher sperm count.